The Bizarre World of Florida

The Portable Inflatable Bathtub July 30, 2015

Filed under: Uncategorized — floridaduh @ 10:12 pm
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Fill up this portable InTime inflatable brand bath tub and place it anywhere in your house, condo or apartment and get the bath you’ve longed for.


Take it with you wherever you’re camping or out to the cabin and feel fresh once a day. Nurses, caregivers and aids love the safety this tub provides patients, seniors who have trouble going upstairs for a bath, disabled family members or those with injury recovering from surgery.

Athletes and trainers use this portable tub after games for immediate ice bath therapy to rejuvenate tired legs before travel too…

Loved by apartment renters who only have a stand up shower stall, this tub will allow you to take that bath you’ve longed for, and best of all you can pack it away nice and neat and store it in your closet or beneath the bathroom sink.

Kids and children jump up and down with excitement as this tub blows up in the back yard as their child size swimming pool blows up, and mothers with a baby or toddlers love that they can take a bath together like they’ve always wanted…


Jaws on the Water – The Scariest Way to Watch Shark Horror Flicks

Filed under: Uncategorized — floridaduh @ 10:08 pm
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Horror and gore fans are never going to tire of the timeless classic Jaws. And to enhance the experience, they’re coming up with bigger, scarier ways to watch Steven Spelberg’s blockbuster. The latest idea is to have the audience watch it on a giant screen while sited on rubber rings floating on a lake, at night. It’s all fun and games until someone yells “Shark!”, then panic ensues.

600x337xjaws-on-the-water2-600x337.jpg.pagespeed.ic.8KUpuvnyMgThe event, aptly dubbed ‘Jaws on the Water’, is being hosted by Alamo Drafthouse, a theater in Austin, Texas. They actually first hosted the special screening over a decade ago,and to celebrate the film’s 40th anniversary they’re bringing it back at the beginning of August.

“It’s one of the most talked about events we’ve ever produced: back in 2002, we invited the brave people of Austin to join us for a special screening of JAWS where we would point our giant outdoor Rolling Roadshow screen toward the water, and the audience would all watch while floating on inner tubes,” the cinema chain wrote on their website. “It’s still one of the most talked about events we’ve ever produced, and so after years of hearing those stories whispered, we decided it was FINALLY time to bring the event back, and to bring it back in a BIG way!”

The screening is all set to be held on August 9, on a man-made lake at Texas Ski Ranch, which has sandy beaches sloping downward into the water – for people too scared to go into the water – and “plenty of satellite bars around the location to keep your thirst quenched all night long – including some special floating bars that you can swim up to.” Fish tacos will be up for sale, along with special discounts on Dos Equis cans.

600x337xjaws-on-the-water-600x337.jpg.pagespeed.ic.jg4AYkXsDyLocals seem to be pretty excited about the event, many of them taking to the internet to share their thoughts. “My university used to do this in the pool,” a commenter wrote. “There’s always that one guy swimming around just grabbing legs.” The Alamo Drafthouse does mention that they will have at least 10 “sharks” in the water during the screening, so you can expect plenty of leg grabbing.

The basic ticket is priced at $40 – it includes admission and one inner tube rental. The VIP Jaws Party ticket costs $110, including “a bus ride to and from Texas Ski Ranch from a secret location near downtown Austin where your car will be safely parked throughout the event.” Also included are admission, tube rental, and pre-party drinks and appetizers.

I’d probably die of a heart attack, but you guys enjoy the movie!


Man calls police to arrest his cat for eating his bacon

Filed under: Uncategorized — floridaduh @ 10:02 pm
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As we grow up in this big, crazy, and sometimes quite scary world, we’re told to call the police whenever we find ourselves in a state of emergency. Sometimes, the line between emergency and non-preferable situation gets a little blurred. This man blurred the line about as far as possible when he deemed getting one’s bacon stolen by a pet cat an emergency worthy of police backup.

West Yorkshire Police released the hilarious clip (above) of the phone call between the theft victim and the police. When the man called, he told the police:

“me girlfriend has let the cat eat my bacon. I want to press charges.”

The dispatcher kept her cool when she asked if the man wanted to press charges against his wife or against his cat. When the man replied that he wanted them both arrested, the dispatcher said:

“Sir, it’s not an offense to let your cat eat your bacon. And we don’t arrest cats.”

The man shockingly attempted to protest the dispatcher’s statement. He insisted that his girlfriend enabled the cat to steal his food, and thus his girlfriend should be arrested. Finally, after what people are calling an unbelievable defense, the man cut his losses and ended the call.


Hong Kong woman jailed for attacking police with breast

Filed under: Uncategorized — floridaduh @ 9:59 pm
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A Hong Kong woman was sentenced to three-and-a-half months in jail Thursday after a court found her guilty of using her breast to bump into a police officer during a chaotic protest.

d43f74af9dbb7dc37b10168da9c94b15Thirty-year-old Ng Lai-ying, who took part in a protest against mainland Chinese cross-border traders in March, was sentenced to three months and 15 days for the charge of “assaulting a police officer”.

Ng, who works as a clerk, was bailed pending an appeal.

She was found guilty of using her chest to bump against the arm of chief inspector Chan Ka-po during the protest in the rural Yuen Long district of the city, where chaotic scenes broke out over the number of traders shopping there.

Ng had previously told the court that she yelled “indecent assault” out of fear immediately after Chan’s hand landed on her left breast when he failed to grab the strap of her bag, the South China Morning Post reported.

Chan accused Ng of bumping him with her breast.

“If I do not hand down a deterring sentence, the public might mistakenly think it is a trivial matter to assault police officers during protests,” magistrate Michael Chan said, according to the Post.

The magistrate had previously said Ng “used her female identity to trump up the allegation that the officer had molested” her, calling that a malicious act and harming the officer’s reputation, the Post said.

Ng looked shell-shocked as she exited the court, where dozens of supporters were waiting, after she was sentenced along with three others in the same case.

Co-defendant Poon Tsz-hang, who was sentenced to jail for five months and a week, said he “respected the court’s decision”.

A 14-year-old boy, whose name cannot be released, was sent to a rehabilitation centre.

The third, Kwong Chun-lung, was ordered to attend a detention centre.

The trio were all found guilty of “obstructing a police officer in the due execution of his duty” and “assaulting a police officer”. They were also bailed pending an appeal.

An influx of millions of Chinese visitors to Hong Kong prompted protests early this year by residents who are hostile to China’s increasing influence leading to clashes with police and arrests.

Hong Kong opened up to Chinese tourists in 2003 in a bid to revive its economy after an outbreak of the respiratory disease SARS, allowing mainland Chinese to visit as individual travellers rather than as part of an organised tour.

Police were slammed for heavy-handed treatment during widespread pro-democracy protests late last year and have subsequently been accused of conducting a witchhunt against activists.


Mom Catches Eric Absher Molesting Children, Beats Him With Pool Stick

Police have arrested Eric Absher after a woman said she walked in on him molesting her children then beat him with a pool stick.

Eric-AbsherInvestigators say they were called to a home were a woman told them she had found Absher in her bedroom with four children. She said he was forcibly holding one of the kids and his dick was hanging out.

She told police she became enraged and used a pool cue to beat him out of the house and out to the road. That’s were Absher was able to make his escape.

“He was able to stop a passerby saying ‘this woman was crazy.’ Not knowing what had just occurred and that guy takes him away from the scene,” said Sheriff McKinney.

When police interviewed the children, a 6-year-old girl told them that “the bad guy” had choked her with his “bad spot” and made her perform oral sex.

Police would quickly apprehend Absher and place him in custody. Absher is not unknown to police. He was charged with lewd acts to a child under 16 in February after allegedly exposing himself to a child and tried to force them to touch him inappropriately.

He was out on bond for that charge at the time of this most recent incident, and was also wanted for charges of forgery. Now he’s looking at seven counts of lewd acts with a child and one of exposing a child to pornographic material. Police expect that list to grow as they continue to interview the children.

“He’s a very dangerous individual, especially to children and I think he’s proved that,” said Sheriff McKinney. “They don’t need to be running the streets, they need to be put away for the rest of their life.”


Jeremy Ringquist Accused Of Killing Parents, Stuffing Their Body In Freezer

Police have arrested 38-year-old Jeremy Ringquist after the bodies of his parents were found stuffed inside a freezer at their home.


According to reports, Ringquist had recently moved from Chicago and into the home of his parents, Randy, 63 and Karen, 65, following a divorce and a disability that prevented him from working.

Neighbors described Karen as sweet, but say Randy was a raging alcoholic who verbally abused both Karen and his son. According to Karen’s cousin, Mark Cestaric, the abuse was worse than verbal.

He said Randy was physically and mentally abusive to Karen and, after he moved back home, so was Jeremy. Cestaric said he talked to Karen by phone every week and that the last time he talked to her, on May 22, she said Jeremy had kicked her.

“Karen and her husband, they didn’t get along, he was abusive to her. And then their son moved in and he was also abusive. He’s a 300-pound kid,” Cestaric said. “Her life was miserable and I tried to tell her to get out. I said, ‘You’ve got to get out of there,’ but she said she had no money and no place to go. There’s no relatives close. I’m probably her closest relative.”

After not hearing from Karen for days, Cestaric contacted local police in mid-June and asked them to conduct a welfare check. Police told him they found a note on the door that said the family was on vacation and would be back June 16.

Cestaric called police back on June 17 asking for them to check again. This time there was a note on the door that said a family emergency had occurred and that Jeremy would be watching the property.

On Monday he called again, and also called his police officer brother-in-law, who contacted Springfield police. The next day, police went back to the home and forced their way inside after Jeremy called 911 and told a dispatcher to send a negotiator.

Once inside, police found Jeremy with a self-inflicted injuries that were not life-threatening. They also found the bodies of Jeremy’s parents stuffed inside a freezer. Jeremy’s fat ass was taken to the hospital, then taken into custody on charges of aggravated murder.

Springfield police Sgt. Rich Charboneau encouraged people to call police if they know of domestic violence occurring in their neighborhoods, adding that three neighbors were aware of verbal abuse going on inside the Ringquist home, but never contacted authorities.

Cestaric, who was aware of both the verbal and physical abuse, said he never called police because Karen told him not to, and because he never actually witnessed any of it.


Rudi Espinoza Accused Of Decapitating His Mother’s Cat Because It Was Evil

B9317869915Z.1_20150625204756_000_G9RB6DPD4.1-0Rudi Espinoza, 24, has been arrested for working out any issues he had with his mother’s cat by lopping off its head.

According to reports Espinoza knocked on his neighbor’s door at midnight, dressed only in boxers, covered in scratches and blood. The neighbor called 911. When the police arrived Espinoza answered the door still covered in blood in his boxers acting strangely as if he were under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Officers would note that Espinoza was covered in claw and bite marks. Upon further investigation the headless body of his mother’s cat would be found inside his residence. It was noted the cat’s tail was also broken. A kitchen knife found at the scene is believed to be the weapon he used to kill the cat.

When questioned, Espinoza told deputies that he had killed the cat, “…because it was evil and nosy.” It has been alleged that his motivation for killing the cat was to cause his mother pain,  which I’m positive he succeeding in doing.

I have to agree with you, Espinoza, cats are pretty evil and they can be very nosy. That’s why you have to get in with them so they do your bidding for you. I had a kick ass cat that I’m pretty sure had super powers. I also had a dickhole boyfriend who decided to be an even larger dickhole than normal and was later greeted with a squishy pile of cat shit in his shoe. If you know cats, you know they do whatever the fuck they want, this one just wanted the dickhole boyfriend to have a shitty day. Thanks, Super Cat!

Espinoza has been charged with two counts of aggravated animal abuse and his bail has been set at $100,000.



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