The Bizarre World of Florida

Man sharpened machete after being refused work April 16, 2015

CallImageJoseph Lyle Matthews, 43, of Pinellas Park, walked up the street to a neighbor’s house April 5 and asked for work, according to an arrest report. The neighbor refused, sheriff’s deputies wrote, so Matthews began sharpening a machete in the man’s front yard. The incident took place on 107th Avenue about 11:23 a.m.

According to the arrest report, Matthews stabbed the machete into the ground, pointed it at the man and shouted, “If you don’t want me to work, then I’ll fix you.”

He faces charges including aggravated assault and possession of drugs without a prescription. According to a separate arrest report, Matthews later threatened to kill a deputy while en route to the jail.

Christopher W. Poulos, alias “Chris” or “Dale Jones,” was canvassing the neighborhood for “opportunities” when he stumbled upon the lawn mower he stole, according to an arrest report.

Poulos, 40, of St. Petersburg, entered a yard in the 5500 block of 31st Street N and took a push mower from beneath a canoe, deputies wrote. He admitted to the offense, according to the report.

He faces a charge of burglary of an unoccupied structure.


Undies-clad women caused ruckus at McDonald’s drive-thru April 6, 2015

A 23-year-old woman wearing a bra and underwear was arrested on a DUI charge early Monday morning after creating a ruckus at a McDonald’s drive-through.

leesburgLydia Grace Kelm, a nurse, was at the drive-through on North 14th Street about two miles from the city’s police department around 3:30 a.m. revving her engine loudly and backing up twice, prompting the McDonald’s employee to yell twice to pull forward to the window, according to an arrest affidavit.

She “seemed to be confused, lethargic” and “had slurred speech,” according to the affidavit. Kelm told an officer she had three beers.

After giving her a jacket to wear on the chilly 48-degree morning, officers conducted a field-sobriety test, which she performed poorly.

A test later indicated that her alcohol content was three times the legal limit.

Kelm was booked into the Lake County Jail, where she has since bonded out.


Woman, 26, Removed Bikini Top in Café, Fondled Breasts, Tugged On Her Nipple Ring April 2, 2015

jgloverfloatMeet Jaclynn Glover.

The 26-year-old Floridian is locked up on a felony lewdness charge after she removed her bikini top in a beachside café and began groping her breasts in “a sexual nature” while also “tugging on her nipple ring,” cops allege.

Glover was on line at a Holmes Beach eatery Tuesday afternoon when she removed her bathing suit top and “exposed her bare breasts to all restaurant patrons,” according to a police report.

After walking around the café, the topless Glover sat down at a table, where she “again groped her breasts in a sexual nature,” according to witnesses who spoke with police. Glover, who is also known as Jaclynn Lussier, subsequently covered her breasts after being approached by restaurant workers.

jaclynngloverIn addition to a lewd and lascivious behavior count, Glover was charged with disorderly conduct, apparently because she was “being belligerent, using vulgar language and causing a disturbance by exposing her bare breasts.”

Glover, pictured above and at left, is being held in lieu of $7620 bond.

In a March 26 Facebook post, a bikini-clad Glover is seen poolside atop the shoulders of a male acquaintance. “Lol was deff havin alot of fun …and 3 bottles of wine later the pool didnt seem so cold,” she commented.


Naked man taunts neighbor, touches himself

A Boca Raton man was arrested Monday after he stood outside in his underwear, yelled expletives at his neighbor and his young daughter and then began touching himself in a sexual manner, police said.

glynnBoca Raton police said they got a call just before 7 p.m. about a man, Michael Glynn, 48, who was harassing his neighbors across the canal in the 3400 block of Northeast Sixth Drive.

The caller said he and his daughter had returned home at about 6:30 p.m. His daughter, who is a minor, took the dog outside for a walk shortly thereafter and saw Glynn standing across the canal, according to the arrest report.

Glynn started throwing things at the man’s boat, then began calling his daughter and wife derogatory names. He pulled down his underpants and started grabbing his genitals, according to the report, and then started gyrating in a sexual manner. He then flipped off the family and said they were wimps.

Glynn told the man he should come over and fight him, but the man called police instead.

When officers went to Glynn’s house, he told them he didn’t want to talk to them and that they should just take him to jail.

Glynn is charged with committing a lewd or lascivious act and exposure of sexual organs. He is being held at the Palm Beach County Jail on $4,000 bail.


Man breaks into ex’s home, defecates on belongings March 31, 2015

A family of four had a rude awakening Friday morning when the homeowner’s ex broke in and defecated on several of the family’s belongings, according to the Orange County Sheriff’s Office.

photo-JPGThe victim was asleep at first, but at least one of the three children inside the home allegedly witnessed Michael Anthony Johnson, 27, of Apopka, break into the home and defecate on things, deputies said.

Johnson is accused of defecating on the victim’s bed sheets, a glass kitchen plate, a wallet and a dresser.

Johnson was arrested in January for domestic battery, criminal mischief, and resisting arrest and was not supposed to be at the home, deputies said. A court order was issued banning him from returning to the home.

“The defendant had only been out of jail two days before violating the no contact order,” investigators said in the arrest report.

Johnson allegedly gave deputies false information, but one officer said, “I recognized the defendant, and remembered responding to the same address in regards to an aggravated stalking with credible threat in May 2014.”

Johnson was charged with burglary of an occupied dwelling, criminal mischief, sanitary nuisance, providing false information to law enforcement, petit theft and aggravated stalking. He was booked into the Orange County Jail on Friday.


Probationer Busted For Trying To Pass Off Gatorade As Urine During Court-Ordered Test

A Florida woman tried to pass off a mixture of Gatorade and warm water as a urine sample during a recent meeting with her probation officer, according to police reports.

coulombeTabatha Coulombe, 29, was jailed last week in connection with her alleged scheme to game the urine test, which is part of the probation requirements stemming from her 2013 sentencing for felony animal cruelty.

In late-January, Coulombe met with her probation officer and provided a urine specimen. But due to “the abnormal color (blush)” and the “abnormal test result,” the officer questioned Coulombe about the sample’s source.

“Coulombe admitted that she did defraud the test and…removed a plastic pill bottle that was concealed in her vagina,” according to a Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office report. Coulombe’s probation officer subsequently “discovered that the submitted solution was a combination of Gatorade and hot water.”

While police records no not reveal the Gatorade flavor used by Coulombe, it appears likely that she opted for Lemon-Lime or Lemonade (as opposed to Orange, Fruit Punch, or Mango Xtremo).

Three weeks before her attempted Gatorade ruse, Coulombe, seen at left, failed a urine test (amphetamines were detected in a sample she provided).

Coulombe, a Wendy’s employee, is scheduled for an April 12 arraignment on the probation violation charge.


Bragging suspect brings down band of thieves

A Bonita Springs home was the focus of an investigation by the Lee County Sheriff’s Office Saturday.
The home is located on Cherry Drive — just north of Bonita Beach Road.  Deputies led three people out of the house in handcuffs and put them in the back of a squad car.
“This armored truck-like vehicle came rumbling in, and then out of the middle of nowhere more police vehicles came zooming in,” described one neighbor.  “They blew the doors off the house, and you heard all this hollering and screaming.”
“Not surprised at what goes on here.  This is not the first time.  One morning I heard gunshots,” said another neighbor.
A neighbor tells us since January she has called the sheriff’s office more than two dozen times about activity at the house.  Now, neighbors are wondering what’s happened inside the home to prompt the sudden presence.
During their investigation, detectives say $250,000 worth of gold coins were stolen, a dozen firearms, body armor, a safe and a Mercedes Benz. Detectives also say Myles Winzenried, identified as the ringleader, was bragging to his friends about how much cash he made selling the coins. He allegedly gave one of the weapons, a black AR 15 with flare launcher, to a friend.
Five in all were arrested, according to the sheriff’s office:

Myles Winzenried of 11080 Cherry Drive, Bonita Springs, charged with Grand Theft greater that $100,000; Armed Burglary of Unoccupied Dwelling; Dealing in Stolen Property; Grand Theft Auto.

Shalima Powell of 11080 Cherry Drive, Bonita Springs, charged with Grand Theft greater at $100,000; Dealing in Stolen Property.

Devin Thomas  of 11080 Cherry Drive, Bonita Springs, charged with Grand Theft Greater than $100,000.

Maria Tasho of 3300 Bermuda Isle Circle, Naples, charged with Dealing in Stolen Property.

Joshua Persad  of 1262 11th St. North, Naples, charged with Dealing in Stolen Property.

The five made a first appearance in court Sunday for their bond assessments.



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