The Bizarre World of Florida

Rudi Espinoza Accused Of Decapitating His Mother’s Cat Because It Was Evil July 30, 2015

B9317869915Z.1_20150625204756_000_G9RB6DPD4.1-0Rudi Espinoza, 24, has been arrested for working out any issues he had with his mother’s cat by lopping off its head.

According to reports Espinoza knocked on his neighbor’s door at midnight, dressed only in boxers, covered in scratches and blood. The neighbor called 911. When the police arrived Espinoza answered the door still covered in blood in his boxers acting strangely as if he were under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Officers would note that Espinoza was covered in claw and bite marks. Upon further investigation the headless body of his mother’s cat would be found inside his residence. It was noted the cat’s tail was also broken. A kitchen knife found at the scene is believed to be the weapon he used to kill the cat.

When questioned, Espinoza told deputies that he had killed the cat, “…because it was evil and nosy.” It has been alleged that his motivation for killing the cat was to cause his mother pain,  which I’m positive he succeeding in doing.

I have to agree with you, Espinoza, cats are pretty evil and they can be very nosy. That’s why you have to get in with them so they do your bidding for you. I had a kick ass cat that I’m pretty sure had super powers. I also had a dickhole boyfriend who decided to be an even larger dickhole than normal and was later greeted with a squishy pile of cat shit in his shoe. If you know cats, you know they do whatever the fuck they want, this one just wanted the dickhole boyfriend to have a shitty day. Thanks, Super Cat!

Espinoza has been charged with two counts of aggravated animal abuse and his bail has been set at $100,000.


Crystal Kinder Took Two Kids From Park To Show Them How To Live Homeless

Filed under: Uncategorized — floridaduh @ 9:39 pm
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Crystal-KinderPolice have charged 32-year-old Crystal Kinder with two counts of kidnapping after she took two young kids from a local park.

On Monday afternoon, three, young cousins where playing at Parker Street Park when they were approached by Kinder. In a matter of minutes, Kinder had walked off with two of the kids – ages three and five.

“Unfortunately they weren’t supervised for a few minutes, and that was just enough time for her to come up, see these kids, and she carried one and held the other by the hand, and she walked off,” Lakeland Police Sgt. Gary Gross said.

The third child told a family member, 25-year-old Keith Campbell, that his two cousins were missing. Campbell asked others if they had seen where the two kids went, and he was pointed in the direction they had left with Kinder.

Luckily, Campbell located Kinder with the two children six blocks away at the Best Motel. Kinder gave the children back to Campbell unharmed and without incident. Police would arrest Kinder shortly afterwards.

According to Sgt. Gross, when police asked Kinder why she took the two children away from the park, she told them that they appeared unsupervised so she took them “to teach them how to steal and live off the streets.”

She also said that once she finished playing Fagin, she was going to return them to the park. Kinder was taken to the Polk County Jail where she remains on a $30,000 bond.


Busted cop: “The crack is not for me, it’s for my wife” April 22, 2015

A Sweetwater cop found himself on the wrong side after he reportedly bought a bag of crack from a sidewalk dealer.

jail-prison-3Police were conducting surveillance in an area known for drug activity Thursday when they noticed a man in white Chevy Malibu stop on the side of the road at 188 Street and 114th Avenue and talk with a woman who was standing on the sidewalk.

The man, later identified as 25-year old Christopher Heredia, then drove off and pulled into the parking lot a Walgreens at Quail Roost Drive and SW 114th Avenue. He then went back to where the woman was.

Heredia then hand her some cash and she handed him a bag with crack cocaine in it, according to his arrest report.

Heredia then drove off. Police pulled him over Quail Roost and SW 113th Avenue. When an officer walked up to the car, he reportedly noticed Heredia making movements as if he was trying to hide something.

Heredia told the officer he was a cop. When asked if he was currently working, Heredia replied ‘no’. The officer noted in the report that Heredia’s hands were trembling, he appeared nervous and he began to stutter.

Arriving officers found the baggie containing the crack on the driver’s side floor. A search of the car turned up drug paraphernalia and three Xanax pills.

At some point during the search, Heredia blurted out “The crack is not for me, it’s for my wife.”

Officers on the scene advised him to be quiet.

Heredia was charged with purchase of cocaine, possession of a controlled substance, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

The woman he met on the sidewalk, 37-year old Tina Schofield, who was also arrest and charged with sale of cocaine and possession of drug paraphernalia.


2014 in review December 31, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized,WTF? — floridaduh @ 9:27 pm

Thanks to all of you who read my blog. Here are the results!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The Louvre Museum has 8.5 million visitors per year. This blog was viewed about 170,000 times in 2014. If it were an exhibit at the Louvre Museum, it would take about 7 days for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.


Fake cop had a ”Let’s Be Cops’ DVD December 29, 2014

Hernando County deputies have arrested a man, saying he impersonated a police officer.
sfl-flduh-fake-cop-dvd-20141228-001Authorities say they caught up with James Michael Buck, 23, during a bizarre incident on Christmas night in which a caller reported Buck tried to perform a traffic stop.
When the individual called 911, deputies say Buck was chasing that person with his black SUV and emergency-style lights flashing.
Deputies pulled Buck over and found shield-style badges in his car and wallet, along with other police gear and a DVD titled “Let’s Be Cops.”
Buck was being held in the Hernando County Jail of $5,000 bond.
Deputies say Buck told them, “If I could do tonight over again, I never would have done this.”
Buck also said that he installed the police-related equipment so that “no one would mess with him.”

Even I Deserve Some Time OFF!!!!! December 17, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — floridaduh @ 10:40 pm

Hey Readers,

I’ll be moving into my newly constructed home this week …. so …. no news for you until Monday, Dec 22. I’m sure you’re all upset and really pissed off at me … well, just get over it. OK? If not I don’t know what to tell you.

Thanks for being an avid reader and see you back next week.



Meth-making operation exposed when suspect butt-dialed cops October 10, 2014

Filed under: Bad Luck,Bizzarre,Dumb,Stupid,Uncategorized,WTF? — floridaduh @ 2:24 pm
Tags: , ,

Sometimes, good detective work and weeks of investigation are needed to nab suspected criminals. But other times all investigators need is 30 minutes to listen in on an accidental pocket dial to a 911 dispatch center.

That’s the reason 55-year-old Donna Knope, 32-year-old Jason Knope and 41-year-old Thomas Stallings spent their weekend in the Volusia County Branch Jail on drug charges.


According to Volusia County deputies, one member of the trio accidentally dialed 911 about 12:30 a.m. Saturday. When the dispatcher answered and tried to get details about the potential emergency, there was no response.

Instead, she overheard a discussion about drugs.

Deputies say the dispatcher kept the line open and fed details to investigators from the three who were unknowingly being recorded. At one point, the dispatcher reported hearing bubbling noises as if something was cooking.

Using cell phone locater data, deputies tracked the origin of the call to a shed behind a home in the 3200 block of Roland Drive where Donna and Jason Knope lived.

When deputies arrived, the three were actively cooking a batch of methamphetamine, investigators say. Also found were many of the household items after found in meth labs like lighter fluid, coffee filters, a butane torch and batteries.

All three face charges of manufacturing and possession of meth. Stallings also faces charges of violating probation after a previous robbery conviction.



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