The Bizarre World of Florida

Just lovin’ it: Couple has sex atop car’s trunk at McDonald’s January 19, 2015

A report of people having sex on the trunk of a car in a McDonald’s parking lot turned into a trifecta of arrests in Indian River County, according to affidavits.

The reported case of a couple copulating in a conspicuous place happened Jan. 2 around 2:35 a.m.

Deputies went to the McDonald’s parking lot in the

9400 block of 108th Avenue in the Vero Outlets area regarding an apparent fornication situation on a car trunk.

Anndrea-Paulling-mugInvestigators encountered Anndrea Paulling, 23, and 22-year-old Michael Marin standing next to the car. They smelled of booze, and a quarter full bottle of liqueur was under the vehicle.

The victim said Paulling and Marin went outside, and Marin stuck his hands up Paulling’s dress and appeared to fondle her. She said the next time she looked, Marin was pulling up his pants.A woman identified as the victim said Paulling and Marin tried to bring a liqueur bottle into McDonald’s and were told they couldn’t.

michael-marin-mugAs deputies spoke with Paulling and Marin, a third person – Brendon Majchszak – stumbled out of the driver’s seat of the car. Majchszak, 29, also smelled of booze.

Deputies determined Majchszak’s license was suspended, but he said he thought he’d “taken care of it.”

Brendon-Majchszak-mugPaulling, of Newberry, and Marin, of Vero Beach, each were arrested on a disorderly intoxication charge, while Majchszak, of Gainesville, was arrested on a driving with suspended driver’s license with knowledge charge. Asked whether he had paperwork substantiating the “taken care of it” claim, Majchszak said it was in the trunk, but then said it most likely wasn’t.


Man, 55, lay beside street, exposing himself January 15, 2015

A man found exposing himself beside an Ocala street was arrested Tuesday.

nakedA manager at the Publix Supermarket at 3516 E. Silver Springs Blvd. told an Ocala Police Department officer that a customer had told him about the man, who was lying in the shoulder beside Northeast Seventh Street, according to an OPD report.

The officer found Gregory D. Parramore, 55, there lying on his back and exposing himself. The officer told Parramore to pull up his pants, but the homeless man ignored the order.

Parramore was then arrested and taken to the Marion County Jail.


Hot trouble for woman in ‘hot body’ contest January 14, 2015

There is a time and place for dancing around in your underwear.

On top of a bar in a public restaurant, evidently, is not one of them.

jessica-quintero-mugA police sergeant at Stuart Grill & Ale, in the 1600 block of Southeast Federal Highway, spied Quintero during what the affidavit described as a “’hot body contest’ in which females would dance on top of the bar.”But that’s where Stuart police say they found Jessica Quintero, 27, about 1:35 a.m. December 24, an arrest affidavit states.

The sergeant saw Quintero dancing on the bar. She was bare breasted and sporting only a thong, a type of underwear that provides a miniscule amount of coverage to the posterior.

Thong features prominently in “Thong Song,” a song by Sisqo. Some of the lyrics include, “She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck / Thighs like what, what, what / All night long / Let me see that thong,” according to an Internet search.

Meanwhile, the affidavit didn’t state whether Quintero performed a jazz, tap, ballet, twerk, swing, tango, polka, Irish jig, or another type of dance entirely.

The affidavit also didn’t state who won the “hot body contest.”

Quintero said she’d danced naked at the same bar a week earlier, saying the winner would receive $600.

Police arrested Quintero, of the 1400 block of Southwest Malaga Avenue in Port St. Lucie, on a disorderly conduct charge.


Man tased at hospital after asking woman to disrobe, throwing coffee at an officer January 6, 2015

Lady Lake police used a stun gun on a hospital visitor who allegedly threw hot coffee in the face of an officer investigating a sexual assault.

54a6ef28b9c0b.imageDavid Andrew Harrison, 41, of Altoona was charged with battery on an officer, resisting arrest and providing a false name to an investigator. Harrison remained in the Sumter County jail Friday on no bail.

According to an arrest affidavit, Sumter County deputies responded to The Villages Regional Hospital early Thursday morning to reports of the stun gun shooting and found Harrison lying on his stomach in the parking lot with Taser prongs sticking out of his back.

A Lady Lake policeman told sheriff’s deputies he went to the hospital to investigate a sexual assault against a woman, and found a man, later identified as Harrison, in her room. The officer asked the man to step outside to talk after the hospital staff informed him the man had asked the woman to disrobe so he could examine her. The staff also said Harrison had been verbally abusive to employees.

Once outside the hospital, Harrison allegedly gave the officer several different names, then threw a cup of hot coffee in his face and tried to run before the officer stunned him and placed him under arrest.

According to the arrest affidavit, there also was a Lake County warrant out for Harrison’s arrest Thursday on charges of failure to comply with sexual offender requirements.


Police officer suspended after public masturbation allegations December 12, 2014

A police officer has been suspended for two weeks following accusations that he was caught this summer masturbating in a downtown parking lot.

Officer Andrew Cane, 38, was off duty and in his personal vehicle on the afternoon of Aug. 25 when a tow truck driver came upon him in a lot at 801 Central Ave.

The driver for A-1 Recovery was preparing to haul away the vehicle, which was in a tow away zone, when he realized it was running and approached the passenger window.

The tow driver said he saw a man inside with a cell phone in his right hand and his penis in his left, according to an investigative report. The tow truck driver called police.

Officer Teddy Williams responded just before 2:30 p.m. and was startled when he recognized the vehicle’s occupant. He advised Cane about the allegations and told him he needed to leave the lot.

Cane, who has been on the force since 2010, denied that he had been masturbating, but admitted he had his penis exposed and in his hand when the truck driver approached, according to a memo Police Chief Tony Holloway wrote this week.

Cane told investigators he’d just finished teaching a class at the police academy and was headed home. He said he pulled over to rest.

A criminal investigation was initiated, Holloway’s memo said. Police spokesman Mike Puetz said investigators determined the exposure was not intentional.

“It would not have been something we would have arrested (someone) for or forwarded to the state for prosecution,” he said.

An internal investigative report said Cane later gave a statement saying he was embarrassed a member of the public may have seen him with his hand unintentionally in his pants. He asked for assistance with stresses in his life.

Cane has not had any previous discipline. He has received high marks in his evaluations and was praised as a “motivated, courteous and professional law enforcement officer,” according to his personnel file.

In addition to the suspension, Cane also was removed from the SWAT team and Honor Guard and received a mandatory referral to the employee assistance program.


Momma bans porn at home. What’s a guy to do? December 10, 2014

Filed under: Bizzarre,Controversy,Dumb,Florida Nut,Funny,Nudity,Sexual Exposure,Weird,WTF? — floridaduh @ 1:28 pm

Anthony Smith said his mom won’t let him watch porn in the house.

anthony-smith-mug“Instead, he goes outside nude and walks around hoping that someone will see him,” an arrest affidavit states.

Two people shortly after 1 p.m. said they saw Smith standing in his yard. He had no clothes on and was masturbating.That’s what Smith, 21, told Martin County Sheriff’s deputies Nov. 14 when they went to the 1900 block of Southeast Monroe Street in Stuart for a report of a nude dude.

When a sheriff’s lieutenant pulled up, he noticed Smith “bending down naked in the driveway.”

“The suspect then stood up and ran back to his home next door,” the affidavit states.

He went inside and got dressed.

He told deputies his mother won’t let him watch pornography in the house. He said he walks around naked outside and hopes someone sees him, saying it’s a “high.”

It may not have been a “high” for Smith to be taken to jail.

Smith, of the 1900 block of Southeast Monroe Street in Stuart, was arrested on an exposure of sexual organs charge.


Lieutenant resigns after FL firehouse sex video surfaces November 4, 2014

Lt. Stephen Coward’s 19 year run with the Clearwater Fire Department ended abruptly last month with his resignation after a graphic cell phone video and sex talk emails surfaced indicating he had been having intimate encounters with women other than his wife inside Clearwater Fire Station 51.

“We began an investigation immediately and tried to figure out what happened,” said City Spokesman Rob Shaw.

The video shows Coward engaged in intercourse with a woman inside the bathroom of his dormitory room at the firehouse. He’s smiling and holding up a cell phone that is recording that sex act in a mirror.

That video, along with 40 salacious emails involving Coward and another woman were on a flash drive sent to a Clearwater fire chief on August 6th.


“The fire department received a package and within that package contained a letter and also a disk that encouraged us to check out some activities alleged to have gone on at one of our fire stations,” Clearwater city spokesman Rob Shaw to ABC Action News.

Officials said Coward admitted to the inappropriate actions before resigning.

Coward also admitted to having sex with a woman inside a dive truck as well as in a weight room.

A second anonymous person came forward to officials saying Coward had sexual relations with as many as eight different women while on the job, a list that includes an elementary school teacher, a former girlfriend of a colleague and former girlfriends of Coward’s.

According to the internal investigation, Coward told city leaders that no one from the fire department knew of his transgressions.



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