The Bizarre World of Florida

Naked man yelled he was a god, had sex with tree April 16, 2015

A Florida man believed to be high on flakka, a drug that authorities say is sweeping the state, attacked a Brevard police officer after twice being shocked with a Taser while repeatedly saying he was God, according to officials.

weirdKenneth Crowder, 41, of Melbourne, was arrested Friday on charges of battery on a law enforcement officer, resisting with violence and assault with a deadly weapon on a law enforcement officer.

According to a Melbourne police report, Crowder was spotted by witnesses running naked through a Melbourne neighborhood, yelling that he was a god before committing a sexual act on a tree.

A Melbourne police officer went to the area and confronted Crowder, who was wearing blue jeans and a T-shirt, officials said.

Crowder walked toward the officer in an aggressive manner and identified himself as God, according to police.

The officer used a Taser on Crowder, but he pulled the probes out of his body and continued to fight, police said.  Crowder was shocked a second time, but he again pulled out the probes and went at the officer with clenched fists, according to police.

The officer punched Crowder in the face and a scrum ensued, with Crowder saying that he was Thor and trying to stab the officer with the officer’s badge, police said.

Other officers arrived and helped subdue Crowder, who was handcuffed and shackled, police said.

Flakka is the a variation of synthetic substances known as bath salts and delivers a cheap, powerful high while acting as an amphetamine, according to officials.  The drug can be snorted, smoked or taken by mouth and can cause violent behavior, officials said.

“We have spoken to some medical professionals here and they are starting to see an increase in its use (in Brevard County),” Melbourne police spokesman Dan Lynch said.  “It’s already in South Florida, and we think it’s coming here.”

Crowder, whose mugshot shows him with a black eye, was booked into the Brevard County Jail Complex. He later posted bond and was released.

In 2011, federal authorities banned a number of the chemicals used in bath salts. The active ingredient in flakka, however, has not yet been banned, authorities said.


Woman can’t get pot out of her vagina April 13, 2015

What to do when you can’t get all the marijuana out of your private parts?

King_Reisha_mugA detective stopped the Ford after spotting it travel from the far left lane of Interstate 95 to the Southwest Becker Road off ramp without a blinker, an affidavit states. The vehicle also turned “at the last possible moment.”That’s what may have crossed the mind of a 27-year-old woman after a Port St. Lucie police detective on April 1 pulled over a Ford Focus driven by the woman’s boyfriend.

The driver, John Chapman, 28, said he lacked a valid license. Police smelled pot, and Chapman handed over a bag of marijuana.

John_ChapmanChapman also said a pot pipe was in the center console; “roaches” were in his tackle box; and marijuana bags were in his girlfriend, 27-year-old Reisha King.

“King also stated she believes she still has one baggie still in her ‘vagina’ which she was unable to remove,” the affidavit states.A female detective came to the scene, and King plucked three bags of ganja from her vagina.

A methodology for possible pot extraction was not listed.

King and Chapman, both of Kentucky, were arrested each on a misdemeanor possession of marijuana charge, while Chapman also was arrested on a possession of drug paraphernalia charge.


Man with pot in his posterior pointed laser at drivers April 12, 2015

A man accused of pointing a laser at drivers in Volusia County was later found with marijuana in his rectum, according to police.

Jesse-RoepckeJesse Roepcke, 27, was arrested in Ormond Beach on Sunday on charges of pointing a laser at a driver or pilot, possession or use of narcotic paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and smuggling contraband into a prison.

According to Ormond Beach police, officers received a call from a woman who said someone shined a laser in her face while she was driving.  Police said the man, later identified as Roepcke, also shone the light at other drivers as his girlfriend drove him around the city.

Roepcke was located and pulled over, said he was just having some fun, according to police, who added that a smoking device that reeked of marijuana was found on him.

Roepcke was taken to jail and a bag of a green leafy substance that smelled like marijuana fell out of his rectum during a strip search, according to police.

Roepcke was being held on $4,250 bond in the Volusia County Jail.


‘Hot’ woman drives wearing nothing but her underwear April 11, 2015

An 18-year-old woman who was driving with no clothes on told Fort Pierce police it was “real, real, real, real, real, real hot.”

Ruffolo_Niomie_mugThe case began shortly before 11 p.m. March 20 as police spotted a Volkswagen on Seaway Drive traveling without the headlights on, an affidavit states.Investigators wound up throwing her in the cooler – the St. Lucie County jail – on a DUI charge after she took field sobriety exercises.

Police stopped the VW and spoke to the driver, Niomie Ruffolo, of Lake City. She was sweating, and her pupils were dilated.

“I noticed that she was not wearing any clothing,” the affidavit states.

Police asked her to get out of the VW, and she put on a sweatshirt.

“As she exited, I could tell that she was only wearing her underwear,” the affidavit states.

Ruffolo denied boozing or taking drugs.

Asked what was wrong with her headlights, Ruffolo said, “one light is out.”

“A Volkswagen is a German car … you just can’t find a dealership … you have to go to a Volkswagen type of dealership,” Ruffolo is quoted as saying. “Where’s one, in Gainesville, I don’t know.”

Police told her a Volkswagen dealership is in Fort Pierce on South U.S. 1.

When queried as to why her sweater was on inside out and backwards, Ruffolo said, “Because I’m in underwear and a bra, because it’s real, real, real, real, real, real hot.”

A specific temperature reading of “real, real, real, real, real, real hot” was not listed.

Ruffolo then said she no longer was hot. She had abrasions and an apparent black eye, and she said she was “jumped” the day before.

Ruffolo took field sobriety exercises and was jailed on a DUI charge.

Breath tests measured no alcohol in her blood, which police described as “not consistent with her level of impairment.”

Investigators got a urine sample for analysis.

It could be argued that Ruffolo may benefit from a “real, real, real, real, real, real” good lawyer.


SWAT team responds to home invasion call, find pot-growing operation

Three men are in custody after a home invasion at a Hialeah home that also ended up having more than 50 pounds of pot inside.

Hialeah Police said around 7 a.m. on Thursday, Lazaro Espinosa, the owner of the home, located at 1750 West 62nd Street, went outside to feed his birds.

That’s when Jorge Valdes, 30, and Fernando Fernandez, 27, wearing masks and bulletproof vests, went up to him and identified themselves as police, authorities said.

Officers said the two men forced Espinosa back into his home where they held him and his wife at gunpoint.

Police said the men then started beating up Espinosa while demanding money.  They then went to his wife and asked her if anyone else was in the home. She said no.

Meantime, their 16-year old daughter was calling police.

“From a frantic 16-year old girl, locked in the bathroom of her home, telling us that there are armed men inside her house, robbing her parents at gunpoint,” said Hialeah Police Det. Carl Zogby.

Hialeah Police released the 911 call in which you hear the daughter frantically begging for help to come.

“There’s two robbers in my house. They have guns. Please, please, please come,” said the daughter.

At one point during the call, you hear yelling in the background and her voice drops.  The operator then tells her to hide herself and put herself in the bathroom.

“Please come fast. They’re going to kill my parents. Please,” she plead over the phone, sounding as though she is crying. Meantime the operator tries to keep her on the line and calm her down.

“Are they here? Please tell me they’re here,” said the daughter while crying. “They’re going to kill my parents.”

Shortly after, you hear the girl saying “mami” and you hear the mother say, “That’s it my love,” as the girl cried and yelled, “where is my father” repeatedly.

A SWAT team, that happened to be in the area, had responded to the scene. They were able to catch up with the two men who were trying to get away, throwing away bullet proof vests, badges and holsters, among other things along the way.

One neighbor, Mayda Martinez, said she saw them tossing wads of cash.

“He dropped the money in front of my apartment so all the money is over there on the floor,” said Martinez.

Police later learned their motive. Inside the home, officers found more than 50 pounds of pot  and growing materials.

“They targeted this home because the father actually had an illegal narcotics operation in the house and they felt that there would be cash and things of value,” said Zogby.


Fernandez and Valdez are facing robbery, battery and police impersonation charges.

During the investigation, officers also found out that Valdes is Espinosa’s current son in law.

Espinosa was also taken away by police and has been charged with Cannabis Trafficking. His wife and daughter are not facing charges at this time.

Florida Power and Light was also called to the home to disable a rigged set up where huge amounts of power was being stolen to power the operation.


Woman to cops: ‘If I’m going back to prison, I’ll at least get high before I go’

0435506783_14998668_8colOne day last summer in a house containing drugs and guns, Kimberly Noelle Collera’s handcuffs were momentarily unlocked by police so she could sign a paper.

“If I’m going back to prison, I’ll at least get high before I go,” she reportedly said after swallowing a handful of a drug known on the street as Molly, which increases the activity of neurotransmitters in the brain.

Collera, 23, signed a federal plea agreement, filed Wednesday, in which she admits to that conduct, along with having a gun in furtherance of a drug trafficking crime. The charge is punishable by five years to life in prison.

The arrest came as part of a joint FBI and Tampa Police Department investigation of the Latin Kings street gang.

According to the plea agreement, there were other adults in the Walnut Street house when authorities arrived, but Collera announced, “I’m the only one doing illegal activity here. Everything is mine.”


Woman with pipe asked deputy “do you want to smoke some on it?” April 1, 2015

A Bradenton woman was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia, according to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office.

bwDWe.AuSt.69Carolyn Sue Luna, 37, was arrested Sunday afternoon in the 1400 block of 14th Street West, Bradenton. A deputy driving down 14th Street West spotted Luna, who had a warrant for violation of probation, according to the report. The deputy arrested Luna and placed her in the backseat of his vehicle to take her to the station.

Luna reportedly could not sit still and her eyes kept rolling back in her head. The deputy suspected she was under the influence of a drug. Before the deputy placed Luna in his backseat, he noticed a napkin jammed underneath the seat with a glass pipe inside. The pipe, commonly used for smoking crack cocaine, had metal jammed in one end and burn marks on it, deputies said.

Luna denied the pipe was hers but admitted she put it there. She then asked the deputy “Do you want to smoke some on it?”

Luna was being held in Manatee County jail on $500 bond, according to the sheriff’s website.



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