The Bizarre World of Florida

Driver found to have blood alcohol level 5 times the limit. Love Florida! February 29, 2012

Filed under: Bizzarre,Dangerous Nut,Drunk,DUI,Florida Nut,Really Dumb,WTF? — floridaduh @ 2:53 pm

The Marion County Sheriff’s Office arrested a Silver Springs Shores woman on a charge of DUI after a breath test indicated her blood alcohol level was more than five times the limit at which someone is presumed to be driving drunk.

The driver, Leianne Francine Lazarus, 33, was arrested Monday afternoon and taken to a hospital for treatment, according to Ocala.com.

Shortly before 4 p.m., the Sheriff’s Office received a report from a concerned citizen about a woman who was driving recklessly.

Sgt. Thomas J. Barclay saw the vehicle, described as an early model four-door Hyundai and stopped it.

Deputy Doreen Casolo was called to the scene. Lazarus, the driver, told him she was trying to get home, according to the report.

Barclay asked Lazarus to get out of the car so it could be moved, because it was blocking northbound traffic. Lazarus was “unable to walk without assistance” and had “a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage,” the report said.

Casolo said Lazarus could not perform a field sobriety exercise and was taken to the Marion County Jail, where she took a breath test. The results were .447 and .466. The state’s legal limit – the level at which a driver is presumed to be intoxicated – is .08.

Because of her high level of intoxication, Lazarus was transported to Munroe Regional Medical Center, where she stayed until 1 a.m. At that time, she was checked again, and the level was .279.

Lazarus was released from the hospital and taken to jail.


If you robbed a bank, what would you spend the money on? How about lottery tickets?

Filed under: Bad Luck,Bizzarre,Florida Nut,Really Dumb,Robbers,Unusual,WTF? — floridaduh @ 2:49 pm

An Orange City man robbed a bank and then lost the money at a local gas station when he tried to parlay the stolen cash on lottery tickets that were not winners, a police official said.

Ronald Paul Silva, 60, was charged with armed robbery, displaying a weapon during a felony and theft, as reported by The Daytona Beach News Journal.

“He was a man down on his luck and robbed the bank and didn’t do much better with the money he stole,” Sampsell said. “He went to a Kangaroo store down the street and lost the money on lottery tickets and earned a trip to jail.”

Silva walked into the Tustco Bank, picked up a deposit slip and then approached the counter, police said.

He handed the teller the blank deposit slip. When the teller handed him back the slip telling him it was blank, Silva handed the woman a black bag with a note attached to it saying he was robbing the bank, investigators said.

The teller said she did not have a lot of money and Silva pulled a pistol from the waistband and showed it to the cashier. The weapon turned out to be a pellet gun, Sampsell said.

Silva got a stack of $5 dollar bills totaling $130 in the heist, Sampsell said.

Silva was arrested the day after the robbery after leads took investigators to him, Sampsell said.


Introducing a Florida horses’ ass!

Shamrock the horse is nursing a scrape on the knee after being attacked by a rowdy reveler during All-Star Weekend activities, officials said.

Officers on horseback were clearing pedestrian traffic early Monday, and Josue Emanuel Santana, 30, grabbed an Orlando police horse named Captain by the reins and pushed it in the face, a police report states.

Santana then turned on Osceola County Deputy Nicole Olesen’s horse, Shamrock, as Olesen arrived to help, striking the horse in the face and causing it to lose its balance and fall to its knees.

Osceola sheriff’s spokeswoman Twis Lizasuain said Shamrock — one of 13 horses on the sheriff’s mounted patrol — has shown no signs of serious injury, she said.

Mounted units are critical tools for law enforcement, particularly when managing crowds where control can quickly disintegrate into chaos, said Mark Newby, president of Suncoast Equine, which sponsors the Florida Association of Mounted Patrols.

“One mounted officer is the equivalent to 10 officers on the ground,” he said.

A horse’s commanding presence benefits the officer — but horses, too, require protection while on the job, Newby said.

Horses wear gear such as eye shields, kneepads and bullet-resistant coats or blankets when deployed during riots or other violent situations. They also assist in search-and-rescue operations through wooded areas difficult to traverse. But the equine officers’ greatest advantage is their charm.

“There is no better tool for public relations than police horses,” Newby said. “…I’ve never had anyone ask to pet my police car before, but my horse always gets that kind of attention.”

Lt. Victor Payne of the Orange County Sheriff’s Office joined the mounted patrol in January 2011 after undergoing grueling training and feeling sore for weeks.

“I can’t be the bad guy on a horse,” Payne said. “When I’m up there, it’s totally different than anything I’ve experienced as a law-enforcement officer.”

But messing with a mounted officer is no joke. Teasing, harassing or interfering with a police horse is a third-degree felony, punishable by up to five years in prison, according to state statute.

“It’s like punching an police officer in the face,” said Tater Porter, an Osceola County cattle rancher and member of the Sheriff’s Office volunteer posse of civilians. “They are a part of the team.”

Santana was charged with two crimes: harassing or teasing a police animal and intentionally injuring a police horse.


Man stabbed in confusion over harmonicas. Wait, harmonicas?

A 52-year-old man who gave someone a ride home stabbed his passenger after he thought the man stole his harmonicas, sheriff’s deputies say.

Bruce Richard Hood remained in the Sarasota County jail today in lieu of $25,000 bail on a charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

According to an arrest report, Hood agreed to drive home someone he met in a bar Saturday. The two went to a Taco Bell, where the passenger bought a bag of tacos. When the passenger got out of Hood’s car, he thought he grabbed the bag of tacos but later said he may have mistakenly picked up the wrong bag.

The passenger told deputies that Hood got out of the car saying, “Give me my harmonicas.”

Hood is accused of stabbing the other man in the wrist and chest.

Deputies say they found the bag of tacos still on the floorboard of the car.


Got to keep groomed: Woman was driving while shaving her bikini area

Filed under: Bizzarre,Controversy,Dangerous Nut,Florida Nut,Nudity,Really Dumb,WTF? — floridaduh @ 2:40 pm

As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers add a new caution: Don’t try to shave your privates, either.

Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.

“She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit,” Trooper Gary Dunick said. “If I wasn’t there, I wouldn’t have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot … who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, ‘Nothing will ever beat this.’ Well, this takes it.”

If that weren’t enough, Megan Mariah Barnes was not supposed to be driving and her 1995 Ford Thunderbird was not supposed to be on the road.

The day before the wreck, Barnes was convicted in an Upper Keys court of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended license, said Monroe County Assistant State Attorney Colleen Dunne. Barnes was ordered to impound her car, and her driver’s license was revoked for five years, after which time she must have a Breathalyzer ignition interlock device on any vehicle she drives, Dunne said. Barnes also was sentenced to nine months’ probation.

Troopers charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance. Judy was not charged.

Barnes faces a maximum of a year in jail if found guilty of violating her probation due to the wreck, Dunne said.

“My phone has been ringing off the hook all day, and I know there’s a funny side to this, but it’s also deadly serious. This is a scary road and a lot of bad wrecks are caused by dumb stuff like this,” Dunick said. “It is unbelievable. I’m really starting to believe this stuff only happens in the Keys.”


It looks like sexting and texting while driving are the least of our worries.

Filed under: Bizzarre,Dangerous Nut,Drunk,DUI,Florida Nut,Really Dumb,Sex,Unusual,WTF? — floridaduh @ 2:36 pm

A driver with a “sexual anus plug in his rectum” was jailed after investigators say he rear-ended another driver and had more than five times the legal limit of alcohol in his blood, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

What could be called the case of the soused driver with the sex toy in his hindquarters happened Feb. 24 as Martin County Sheriff’s investigators went to a two-vehicle crash.

A deputy determined Kevin Brann, 41, had rear-ended another vehicle. Officials also determined Brann smelled strongly of alcohol.

Brann’s speech was slurred and mumbled, his eyes bloodshot and glassy. A deputy gave Brann, who’d urinated in his pants, field sobriety exercises before arresting him on a DUI with property damage charge. Brann “soiled himself” en route to the slammer.

“The defendant had a sexual anus plug in his rectum, which he removed, or it fell out in the rear of my patrol car,” an affidavit states.

The length, girth and color of the “sexual anus plug in his rectum” was not listed in the affidavit. Also not specified was the make and model of the plug and an explanation of how it ended up in his bottom.

At the jail, investigators measured Brann’s blood alcohol content at 0.409 and 0.412 — more than five times the legal limit of 0.08.

Brann was arrested on a DUI with property damage charge.


Check out this round up of losers! February 28, 2012

Filed under: Controversy,Drugs,Prostitution,Really Dumb,Sex,Unusual,WTF? — floridaduh @ 4:10 pm

“The negative social costs of prostitution hurt families, children and communities,” said Sheriff Grady Judd.  “Whether it is on the street, or online, it is illegal and we will continue to arrest those who commit or derive proceeds from prostitution.  We will continue to target online escort services that promote prostitution, and as long as these sites provide the means for prostitution to occur, we will provide the trip to jail.” 

Polk County Sheriff’s Office detectives, acting in an undercover capacity, conducted a two-day investigation focusing on online ads soliciting for prostitution beginning on Friday, Thursday 23, 2012, through Friday 24, 2012. 

Both female and male detectives posted and answered ads for sex on Backpage.com. During this operation 19 suspects were arrested for crimes ranging from Soliciting Prostitution to Narcotics violations. Six suspects were confirmed or admitted to being married.  

Below are a few summaries from the arrests; a complete list of suspects and their charges follows the summaries.

32-year-old Eugene Agbebaku of Wesley Chapel solicited a female detective for sex in exchange for money. Agbebaku is married and a father who lives in Hillsborough County but works in Polk County. He is a UPS driver. Agbebaku requested not to use a condom.  Later told detectives he wanted to contract a disease.  He admitted to being a sex addict who solicits prostitutes three to four times a week for unprotected sex.

54-year-old John David Szydlowski of Lakeland solicited a female detective for sex in exchange for money. When he entered the room he immediately began to fondle the detective and was arrested. He is married and a father who resides in Polk County. He is an accountant at All Saints Academy. He admitted having sexual related issues and being addicted to prostitutes.

39-year-old Desiree Sunshine Dorrance of Winter Haven, was contacted by a male detective and agreed to provide sexual acts and spanking for money. She is married and resides in Polk County. She has a history of posting on backpage.com and Craigslist. She admitted to being extremely active online.  She is married and has children.

26-year-old Keyonte Rashad Kilgore of Lakeland solicited a female detective for sex in exchange for money. He told her he did not have money but would give her Tylenol with Codeine in exchange for sex. He hired a taxi and asked the detective to pay his fair. When he arrived he was arrested. He did not have the Tylenol or any money. It is unknown what his intentions were related to paying for sex.

46-year-old Aniyuo Christopher Keeler of Lakeland solicited a female detective online for sex in exchange for money. He would not disclose if he was married. He told detectives that he was a history professor at a local college. Keeler is not a professor.  He later told them he worked for Compass Group of North America.   

32-year-old Marvin Stewart Caraballo-Munoz of Tampa was contacted by a male detective online and agreed to provide sexual acts in exchange for money. He is a transsexual. It was determined he is from Panama and has overstayed his Visa here in the USA. An ICE detainer was placed on Munoz. He faces deportation.

32-year-old Javier Lara is Munoz’s boyfriend/pimp of Hialeah Gardens, arrived at the arrest location two hours after Munoz’s arrival. He said he was looking for “Mike.” It was revealed he was there to check on Munoz. He had text messages about the prostitution as well as pictures of him and Munoz prior to meeting the detective. A search of his car also resulted in cocaine being found. Both Munoz and Lara admitted to Lara receiving money for the prostitution.

Suspect detail: 

Eugene Agbebaku, DOB 05/01/1979, 31327 Makinaw Ln., Wesley Chapel; Married with children/UPS Supervisor.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.

John David Szydlowski, DOB 06/05/1957, 4327 Creek Ct., Lakeland, CFO All Saints.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution – Battery.

Tracy Lamont Brassfield, DOB 07/17/1962, 629 Kensington Lake Circle, Brandon.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.

Brittany Reese, DOB 04/15/1985, 5107 Drift Tide Dr., New Port Richey.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.

Britany Vance, DOB 01/31/1992, 3113 Colonial Way, Unit G, Atlanta, GA.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.

Daryn Weatherman, DOB 03/29/1972, 202 Logan Ct., Forestdale, MO.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution

Michael Cerny, DOB 01/07/1991, 1040 S. Suwannee Ave., Lakeland.  Charged with Possession of Marijuana Under 20 Grams/Drug Paraphernalia

Emmanuel Alejo, DOB 06/06/1993, 1049 Plateau Ave., Lakeland. Charged with Possession of Alcohol by Person Under 21.  

Desiree Sunshine Dorrance, DOB 09/11/1982, 815 6th St. Northwest, Winter Haven, Room 7 (Rose Motel).  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.

Keyonte Rashad Kilgore, DOB 01/16/1986, 726 Candice Ave., Lakeland.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.

Dwayne Amos Pinkney Jr., DOB 12/19/1981, 517 Winter Terrace, Winter Haven.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.

Jason F. O’Farrell, DOB 08/22/1981, 4038 Golf Village Loop #2, Lakeland.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.  O’Farrell is married with children.  He stated he was aware of Polk County’s reputation regarding enforcement of prostitution laws in the county.  Employed by Cardinal Health.

Aniyuo Christopher Keeler, DOB 05/25/1965, 4515 Orangewood Loop East, Lakeland.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.

Marvin Stewart Caraballo-Munoz, DOB 11/25/1979, Renaissance Hotel Tampa Westshore.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.

Javier Lara, DOB 11/21/1979, 8350 NW 103rd St., Hialeah Gardens.  Charged with Deriving Proceeds from Prostitution – Possession of Cocaine.

Michael Tolley, DOB 01/03/1964, 3245 Big Valley Dr., Lakeland.  Charged with Solicit Another to Commit Lewdness.  Tolley is married.

Terrance Jones, DOB 01/11/1987, 307 Thornhill Estates Ct., Winter Haven.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.

William Curtis Bigham, DOB 05/31/1988, 1350 Lake Bonny Dr., Apt. 20, Lakeland.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.  On Probation for Possession of Marijuana.

David Joseph Couell, DOB 09/30/1975, 1475 Woodlake Dr., #2, Lakeland.  Charged with Solicit Prostitution.



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