Planned genital slicing …… that calls for a police response June 16, 2013

A man accused of flashing a kitchen knife and threatening to chop off his neighbor’s penis was arrested in a late night Fort Pierce flap.

The case of the apparent planned penis pruning played out around 9:30 p.m. May 28 in the 2300 block of South 29th Street, according to a recently released police report. Lavontae Jamar Roberts, 19, was arrested in connection with the incident.

The 28-year-old victim told Fort Pierce police a loud banging on his apartment wall continued for hours and repeatedly woke his 3-month-old daughter. The 28-year-old victim decided to nicely ask the neighbor to stop with the banging.

The 28-year-old victim got no response after knocking on the neighbor’s door. He knocked some more before the neighbor made a comment.

“Stop knocking on my door you (female genitalia) (buttocks) cracker!” the neighbor is quoted as saying.

The victim yelled to please stop banging, noting it’s waking the 3-month-old baby.

The neighbor came out and flashed a kitchen knife, saying he planned to lop off the victim’s penis and “kill him and everyone in his house.”

It could be argued the average male would oppose having his penis chopped off.

Meanwhile, the victim said he called police.

“The neighbor then told him that if he called the police and they showed up he was going to kill him and he promised to God that if he got arrested and went to jail he was going to get him back by coming for him and his cracker (buttocks) family,” a report states.

The victim’s brother-in-law also told police the neighbor had a knife; made the penis cleaving threat; said he’d “kill all of them” and referred to them as “crackers.”

Roberts, of the 2300 block of South 29th Street in Fort Pierce, was arrested on charges including assault with intent to commit a felony and resist officer obstruct without violence.

Barf … I’m not drunk …. barf ….. DUI suspect throws up on patrol car after hit-and-run

DUI suspect Ryan T. Fletcher left behind more than one big mess in Orlando early Thursday, troopers say.

First, Fletcher slammed his Ford into at least one other vehicle at State Road 434 and Lake Underhill Road and took off before cops arrived, according to a Florida Highway Patrol report.

Then he threw up “all over the side” of an FHP cruiser on the way to have his breath tested for alcohol, FHP said.

Fletcher, 28, was charged with DUI, leaving the scene of an accident with property damage and resisting without violence, records show. Records also show he has three previous DUI arrests.

He was booked into the Orange County Jail and released after posting a $6,100 bond.

On Wednesday at about 9:30 p.m., FHP troopers found Fletcher and his smashed Ford behind a Sonny’s restaurant near Lake Underhill and Huckleberry Finn drives.

The vehicle had front-end damage and its air bags had been deployed. Fletcher’s mug shot showed blood on his face.

He was crying as he walked toward troopers. He told them a white SUV changed lanes suddenly as they traveled south on S.R. 434, causing him to crash into the rear of that vehicle.

He told troopers he followed the vehicle and, when it stopped, realized it didn’t have damage.

Then Fletcher and troopers returned to State Road 434 and Lake Underhill Road, where crash victims waited in a nearby CVS parking lot.

That’s when troopers arrested Fletcher, saying “Fletcher knew he was just involved in a collision, and had a responsibility stay and render aid, and exchange information” but he didn’t, according to a report.

Later, as Fletcher was in the back seat of cruiser car headed to have his breath tested, he “began to dry heave and needed me to roll a window down,” the report said

“Mr. Fletcher threw up all over the side of my patrol vehicle.”

Woman busted for cheating at Walmart’s self checkout line

Laura Lynn Ross had placed 64 items from a Jacksonville Walmart in her cart before checking out in the self checkout line, according to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Facebook page.

But Ross only scanned 17 of those items and paid $40.76 — reportedly neglecting to scan the other 47 items that cost $354.05.

Ross was stopped as she tried to exit the store and later told cops that she had thought she paid for everything and didn’t realize she was leaving the store with an extra $354.05 in freebies, according to the report.

Cops charged Ross, 44, with Grand Theft and checked her into jail.

Accused burglar escaped from lawmen with a Glock ….. BTW he’s 10 years-old!

A suspected burglar, thought to be as young as 10 years old, escaped with a .45-caliber Glock pistol Thursday evening after breaking into an Orlando residence, according to police.

The Sunwood Lane home owner returned about 7:40 p.m. and spotted the youngster inside his house.

The youngster yelled to someone else outside and fled through a sliding glass door and escaped.

The homeowner described the burglar as 10 to 12 years old, about 5-feet, 5-inches tall, weighing 120 to 130 pounds and wearing a black shirt with red stripes on the side and matching basketball-style shorts, according to police.

Besides the $850 Glock pistol, an Apple Mac Book Pro computer worth $2,150 was taken. Also moved from the ransacked home and stacked together but not taken were two revolvers, two hunting knives and a cash box with coins, according to police.

The burglar apparently broken in through a window in the master bedroom. He eluded a cordon that included an Orlando police dogs and a helicopter from the Orange County Sheriff’s Office.

Anyone with information is asked to call Crimeline at 800-423-8477.

Masseur accused of rubbing client …….. the wrong way

A DNA test led to the arrest Wednesday of a Fort Lauderdale massage therapist accused of performing a sex act on a sleeping client, the Broward Sheriff’s Office said.

Scott Lloyd Price, 55, was a massage therapist at the Center for Wellness, 4001 N. Ocean Drive in Lauderdale-by-the-Sea, according to the arrest report.

The customer arrived for a massage Nov. 11 and told detectives that after dozing off, he awoke to find Price performing oral sex on him. The customer said he immediately flipped onto his stomach as Price left the room, the report stated.

The customer was taken to a sexual assault treatment center, where a DNA sample was taken. The sample was identified as the DNA of another man. Investigators subsequently obtained a DNA sample from Price, which matched the sample taken from the client, detectives said.

The arrest report did not make it clear whether Price is still employed at the center.

You look awfully foolish if you accuse a man of not being a cop when he’s in full cop uniform June 14, 2013

A drunk man who was shouting profanities at children and others on the beach was arrested after he resisted an Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputy.

The incident occurred May 26 on the beach at The Boardwalk. A woman approached the deputy and told him a man was yelling profanities at kids and other people, and pointed him out.

The deputy approached the man and noticed he reeked of alcohol. He also had trouble standing. As he spoke with the deputy, he continued cursing people, so the deputy told him he was trespassing and had to leave. The man allegedly replied, “I ain’t f—— leaving and you can’t make me.” When he was told a second time to leave, the man said, “F— you, you’re not a cop.”

The deputy was wearing his uniform.

When the man was told to put his hands behind his back he said, “No,” and when the deputy tried to grab his wrist, the man pulled away.

He was charged with trespassing and obstruction without violence.

Ooooh that smell. Can’t you smell that smell? You’ll never guess what it is … dead pigs on the beach!

Wild boars aren’t only a problem in some rural communities, but now, along the  Intracoastal Waterway shoreline.

Those who use and enjoy the shoreline  near the Jensen Beach Causeway Park are concerned about wild boar carcasses  washing up on the beach.

It’s an area popular for fishing, boating, and  having a picnic under the pavilion.

“We even made a joke about it,  calling it boars head beach, but now it’s just getting bad,” one frustrated park  user who did not want to be identified said.

He says he visits the park  daily, and has noticed at least three carcasses wash up over the last couple of  months.

Hair, hooves, bones, and intestines are spread along the beach  near the boat ramps at the park.

“People don’t want to drop their boats  here when it smells like that. You got kids trying to play down on the beach,  you don’t want them playing around that,” the man said.

Officials with  the Martin County Parks Department say they’ve seen carcasses washing up for  some time along various Intracoastal shorelines, most likely as a result of  illegal dumping.

Jim Lopilato, Park Superintendent of Port Salerno and  Hutchinson Island, says dumping is punishable, but only if law enforcement is  able to catch someone in the act.

Otherwise, it’s basically impossible  to know where they’re being dumped from.

It’s disheartening to see this  happening. It’s a mess to clean up, it’s somewhat of a health hazard,” said  Lopilato.

He assumes the carcasses at the Jensen Beach Causeway Park  washed up from somewhere upstream by looking at the way the parts are scattered  and buried in the sand.

“There’s just no telling where it comes from,”  said Lopilato.

The man at the park says he has his own idea of what may  be causing a problem. “I’m thinking hunting season just started and somebody’s  getting rid of their extra carcass.”

People at the park say they’ve  complained to the city to have the carcasses removed. Officials said they will  be sending a crew out Thursday to shovel the carcasses out of the sand.

If you’re going to rob a gas station …. don’t get caught speeding!

Atlantis police identified Heather Brianna Kelly, 25, of Fort Pierce as the suspect in a gas station robbery caught on surveillance video early Tuesday morning.

Atlantis police Det. Marvin Jenne reports that Kelly was pulled over by an FHP trooper on a speeding violation on I-95 in Palm City. She was arrested on an outstanding warrant for a probation violation from another county and is in Martin County’s jail. In a jailhouse interview, Kelly reportedly admitted to Atlantis police that she was the robber.

Surveillance video from the Chevron gas station at Lantana and Congress shows a young woman jumping over the counter to open a cash register at 4:30 a.m. Tuesday. The store clerk returns and the suspect flees back over the counter, losing a flip-flop in the process as the clerk hit the floor. Police say she escaped with a couple hundred dollars. Suspect in Atlantis gas station robbery arrested in Palm City after being stopped for speeding

Read the original story and watch the video here.

Man tried smuggling coke into jail. You may ask how? Well he was using the old toe trick. Didn’t work.

A man found with what he said was a bag of cocaine between his toes said the drugs did not belong to him, but the explanation evidently wasn’t enough to get a leg up on investigators, according to recently released arrest records.

Martin Perez, 33, made the statement after 2:20 a.m. June 2 after being taken to the St. Lucie County jail in Fort Pierce on an aggravated battery charge.

When Perez arrived, officials asked whether he had any drugs or weapons. He said he didn’t. Deputies, however, discovered a bag of white powder between his toes. Perez said it was cocaine, but said it wasn’t his.

Toes are the wiggly digits on human feet. Each foot has five toes, thus each person has 10 toes in total. Toes play a central role in a song/activity parents enjoy with young children known as “This Little Piggy,” in which toes are likened to pigs engaged in activities including going to market and eating roast beef.

Some women enjoy professional grooming services for their toes, a process known as a pedicure. A pedicure might be particularly appropriate for someone with excessive toe jam, a combination of dirt, fungus and yucky stuff found between toes.

Meanwhile, Perez said the bag of powder belonged to another person, though that person wasn’t named in affidavits.

 

In addition to the aggravated battery charge, Perez, of the 1900 block of Delaware Avenue in Fort Pierce, was arrested on charges including cocaine possession and smuggle contraband/introduce into detention facility.

Woman pulled gun on roommate. You ask why?? Well for hiding the vodka of course!

A Key Largo woman was arrested Wednesday after she pointed a gun at one of her roommates after he hid her vodka from her.

When Sgt. Jason Madnick and Deputy Sydney Whitehouse arrived at the home on Second Terrace at 6:15 p.m., they found the victim standing outside. The suspect, 51 year old Kari Dangler was just going inside.

The victim told Sgt. Madnick Dangler had pointed a gun at him. He said the gun was a stainless revolver in a black holster.

Sgt. Madnick then confronted Dangler with her roommate’s accusation. She said the gun belonged to her other roommate and she’d only gone to get it so she could clean it. The gun – a stainless Colt Python – was retrieved from a bedroom.

Inside the gun was a spent bullet casing. Sgt. Madnick asked about it and Dangler said she shot the firearm the week before in the area of the pool because a frog was making noises. Sheriff’s Office records show a shots fired call in that area on June 4^th at 10 p.m. At the time, responding deputies could not find the source of the weapons fire.

Dangler was arrested. She was charged with aggravated assault and she was booked into jail.