The Bizarre World of Florida

Goldilocks bandit fell asleep in stranger’s hotel room July 22, 2014

Filed under: Bizzarre,Dumb,OK Then .....,Robbers,Stupid,WTF? — floridaduh @ 1:32 pm

A 27-year-old man is accused of sleeping in a couple’s hotel room and taking one of the woman’s shirts and some cash before leaving.

sfl-flduh-srangers-hotel-room-20140721-001Police responded to Crestview Inn on June 28, according to the arrest report. A couple told the officer that they had arrived at their hotel room to find the door open and a man, later identified as Stefen Michael Kessler, asleep in their bed.

The room was in disrepair and their luggage was unzipped, the report said. The man woke Kessler up and asked why he was in the couple’s room.

Kessler jumped out of the bed, said he was in the wrong room and left wearing one of the woman’s shirts, according to the report. Kessler then went into the next room, gathered up his things and left with two females.

The man wrote down the make, model and license plate of the car, the report said. After Kessler left, the man found that $80 to $90 was missing from his luggage, as well as two keys for his out-of-town residence.

He found an unlabeled bottle of pills with 75 Xanax tablets that didn’t belong to the couple, which he gave to police, according to the report. He gave police a description of Kessler.

Police checked the hotel registry and located the woman that Kessler’s room had been rented to, the report said. The car Kessler had left in was parked in the driveway.

When the officer spoke to Kessler, Kessler said he was confused about the room and was so tired he just went to sleep, according to the report. He admitted he’d been in the room for several hours and had taken his clothes off to get comfortable.

He said he didn’t take anything from the room, but later said he’d worn a woman’s shirt out of the room and left it in the room he was supposed to be in, the report said. After he was arrested, $929 was found on his person.

When police said the money would be placed in evidence because of the theft, Kessler asked if officers could just return $90 to the couple and let him have the rest for bond, the report said.

Kessler is charged with unarmed burglary of an unoccupied structure and theft.


Couple jailed after swiping $3 worth of booze July 21, 2014

Filed under: Robbers,Really Dumb,Bad Luck,WTF?,Sad Story,Dumb,Alcohol,Stupid — floridaduh @ 1:23 pm

A 49-year-old Crestview man and his 51-year-old wife are accused of putting mini bottles of alcohol in their pockets in front of the store manager before walking out.

sfl-flduh-swiping-booze-20140718-001The store manager said Craig Van Aken and his wife, Lisa Davis, were in Cash’s Corner Pocket on Jan. 2, according to the arrest report. The store manager asked them if she could get them anything.

She said she saw the two looking at the loose mini bottles of liquor, which are $1.50 each, the report said. The manager said she saw Van Aken put two of the bottles in his pocket.

She said he gave one to Davis, but left when the manager started to question them about the bottles, according to the report. She said she knew them because they frequently came into the store.

The manager was able to identify both from photo line-ups, the report said. The two were arrested on June 25.

They are each charged with retail theft.


Teens break into car without noticing the undercover detective sitting inside it. Oops July 18, 2014

police+lights44Three teens were charged with attempted burglary after authorities say they tried to open the door of a parked car while an undercover St. Petersburg police detective sat inside.

The detective was watching an area because officers received reports that teens were trying to open parked car doors. The detective watched the teens try other doors.

Apparently unaware he was inside, the teens tried the detective’s door last.

The Tampa Bay Times reports that the teens, girls ages 13 and 15 and a 14-year-old boy, were arrested. All three were charged with possession of burglary tools and burglary on a vehicle.


Boy, 12, stole school bus for joyride — again

 When a 12-year-old boy, Michael Propst, allegedly stole a school bus last month and took it for a joy ride, a lot of people snickered.

BUSSSS-1One day after his release from the Department of Juvenile Justice, and police say he’s done it again, but this time few people are laughing.

“They said, ‘Mike, we got another bus missing.’ I said, ‘Please tell me it’s not the little boy again.’ That’s exactly who it was,” Bay District School Security Chief Mike Jones said.

Authorities ordered him held by the Department of Juvenile Justice for 21 days. “He was released from custody Tuesday and stole another bus,” Jones said.

It all began around 7 a.m. Wednesday. The bus driver parked the bus at Parker Elementary School and hid the keys somewhere inside the bus.

“We learned through Springfield Police Department that a juvenile had stolen a car in their city and had apparently driven it to the area of Parker Schools,” Parker Police Chief Charles Sweat said.

According to deputies, the car was stolen from one of Propst’s family members.

“It just used for the purpose, or appears to be used, just for a mode of transportation. To get here to the area of Parker Schools to steal another bus.” Sweat said.

Officials say he drove from Parker all the way to Franklin County. That’s more than 75 miles, or an hour-and-a-half drive.

Around 10 a.m. Wednesday, Franklin County Deputies began receiving calls about an erratic school bus driver. A deputy pulled over the bus and found Propst behind the wheel. Jones said, “He told him that somebody had loaned him the bus or gave him the bus. That was the story last time. One of my friends gave me the bus. Twelve years old, it’s hard to believe. He was in trouble last time, but he’s in serious trouble this time.”

Sweat adds, “The legislature needs to change some of the guidelines as far as holding juveniles whenever the commit multiple and numerous felonies.”

Jones assures the public that something like this will not happen again. New procedures are already in place. He said, “That won’t happen no more. There won’t be any keys hidden on any buses.”

Police are still looking for the car Propst supposedly stole from a family member.

Fortunately, the school bus was not damaged.


Fake Good Samaritan stole from woman, 89, after crash July 16, 2014

A woman pretended to assist an 89-year-old woman who was involved in a car accident but actually stole from her, police said.

sfl-flduh-stole-woman-crash-20140715-001Orlando Police Department detectives said that Rachel Murray, 30, stopped at the scene of an accident July 4. While the victim was stuck in her car awaiting the arrival of paramedics and police, Murray allegedly started reassuring the victim.

However, investigators said that Murray was actually searching the victim’s purse and stealing her credit cards, identification and Social Security cards.

Murray left when paramedics and police arrived on the scene and made multiple transactions totaling $2,000 with the victim’s credit cards at numerous local stores, police said.

Detectives followed up with the stores where the credit cards were used and were able to identify Murray during the investigation. Detectives said many of the items purchased with the victim’s credit cards were pawned.

Murray faced a host of charges, including vehicle burglary, burglary of conveyance, theft with a victim over age 65, credit card theft, fraudulent use of a credit card, scheme to defraud and violation of a pawn broker act.

Murray was arrested Monday and booked into the Orange County Jail.

She is being held on a total bond of $60,000.


Dial ‘J’ for jail: Cellphone thief left a chatty trail July 15, 2014

Filed under: Controversy,Dumb,Florida Nut,Fraud,Really Dumb,Robbers,WTF? — floridaduh @ 1:27 pm

sfl-flduh-dial-j-for-jail-20140714-001It appears cops put this cellphone thief suspect on hold.

The owners of a Panhandle marina reported their company cellphone went AWOL during a break-in, cops said, reports the Northwest Florida Daily News in Fort Walton Beach.

Cops then used the missing cellphone’s calling history to dial a number that the suspect had been recently calling, cops said.

A man who answered the phone reportedly identified the frequent caller as Kristine D. Salter, records show.


Man adds “identity theft” to the long list of bad decisions in his life, a list that includes have the Bentley tattoo on his forehead July 10, 2014

Some might say you couldn’t mistake him for anyone else because of his unique facial tattoos — which include the Bentley luxury car logo splashed across his forehead and between his eyes.

sfl-derek-denesevich-20140709But federal prosecutors say Derek Denesevich liked to pretend to be other people by stealing their identities and using them to make money by filing fraudulent income tax returns.

Denesevich, 26, of Lauderhill, surrendered in court Wednesday to face federal identity theft charges. He paid a former Broward Clerk of Courts employee to misuse her position and steal drivers’ identities, according to court records.

Denesevich is charged with aggravated identity theft and conspiracy to possess unauthorized access devices. According to court records, he is cooperating with the investigation of a stolen identity tax refund fraud scheme that prosecutors said he operated.

Denesevich, who told the judge that he works in a shoe store, was first publicly identified as a suspect in the case earlier this year.

“He has accepted responsibility for what he did and he is doing anything and everything in his power to make amends,” his lawyer Omar Guerra Johansson said.

The lawyer declined to comment on details of the crime or Denesevich’s extensive facial and neck tattoos.

Denesevich’s alleged co-conspirator Porscha Kyles was sentenced to three years and one day in federal prison earlier this year. Kyles, 26, formerly of Davie, is serving her prison term in Central Florida.

The former Broward court clerk was fired in 2012 after she was caught stealing identities on the job that she had held for four years. Kyles worked at the public counter in the traffic and misdemeanor division at the county courthouse in downtown Fort Lauderdale and had access to the state’s driver license database.

For several months, starting in October 2011, Denesevich offered Kyles cash payments in exchange for her providing him with the names, dates of birth and Social Security numbers of motorists, federal prosecutors wrote in court documents.

“Kyles knew that the [information] that she provided to Denesevich was going to be used in a tax-refund fraud scheme,” according to her plea agreement.

Denesevich then used some of the information to electronically file fraudulent and unauthorized tax returns seeking refunds from the Internal Revenue Service, prosecutors said.

U.S. Magistrate Judge Lurana Snow agreed to release Denesevich on $50,000 bond. She barred him from working in any job that involves having access to other people’s personal identifying information, such as dates of birth and Social Security numbers.

Denesevich is scheduled to return to federal court in Fort Lauderdale on Monday to either plead guilty or not guilty. If convicted, he faces a maximum of seven years in federal prison.

Kyles came under suspicion when her supervisors noticed that there was irregular activity involving her use of a computer database of driver’s license information.

She later pleaded guilty to a conspiracy charge and one count of aggravated identity theft and was sentenced to the prison term and ordered to pay $57,328 in restitution. She admitted that she used her position to steal drivers’ personal information

Prosecutors said that she sold the information of more than 100 Florida drivers to Denesevich and the conspiracy involved an intended loss amount of at least $120,000.


Phone thief left big clue on victim’s Facebook page, deputies say July 9, 2014

Jean and Darrell Parker were hoping Jean’s cell phone would show up after it went missing during a recent furniture delivery.

They dashed off on vacation to Disney World. The phone didn’t show up – but a Facebook photo did.

sfl-flduh-cellphone-photo-facebook-20140708-001A friend alerted them to check Jean’s Facebook page where they found a picture of a man holding an assault rifle. It appeared Jean Parker had posted that photo to the page herself.

They also say the suspect the phone thief tried to hack into their bank account. But it’s the picture that really has them upset.

“It was really an affront to have [the photo] posted under her name,” said Darrell Parker.

“This may be one of the craziest criminals that we’ve seen in a long time,” said Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd.

Sheriff Judd and his detectives, have a lot of questions about the man in the photo.

“Is this your assault rifle? Are you a convicted felon? Do you have the right to possess this?” said Judd.

How did the picture end up on Jean Parker’s page?

“We think maybe [the suspect] got their phones mixed up. Why else would you take a stolen phone, take a picture, and put it on the victim’s Facebook page?” asked Judd.

This entire incident highlights the fact that many keep their entire lives on their cell phone. The Parkers are going to make sure that their cell phone is password protected in the future.

If you know who the man in the photo is, you can earn a reward.

“If this is the guy who did this, we’ll give him another picture in orange. But there won’t be any green lettering,” said Judd.

The Parkers feel like they’ve been violated.

“When my Facebook account, my mail, all of my friend’s privacy, was also invaded,” said Jean Parker.

If you recognize the man in the picture, call Heartland Crimestoppers at 1-800-226-TIPS.


Suspected burglar’s calling card was his shirt, cops say July 7, 2014

Filed under: Bad Luck,Beautiful,Dumb,Florida Nut,Fraud,Really Dumb,Robbers,Stupid,WTF? — floridaduh @ 1:21 pm

Police didn’t have a hard time tracking down a man who allegedly burglarized two cars at a Delray Beach home – he had his employer’s phone number printed right on his shirt.

sfl-flduh-calling-card-shirt-20140705-001Delray Beach police said they got a call from a woman who said that just after 8 a.m. on Monday, she caught a man on her security camera stealing two pairs of expensive sunglasses and a $100 Louis Vuitton coin purse from her cars, the report stated.

Police looked at the video and saw a man wearing a shirt that said “I Got Wood LLC.” The shirt also listed a phone number.

When officers called that number, they reached the owner of I Got Wood, a flooring company. According to the report, the owner told police that the man in the video was his employee Perry Martin, 55, of Coconut Creek.

According to the report, Martin walked away from a job site shortly before the time of the burglary.

On Wednesday, police contacted Martin. They asked him whether he was the man in the security video and he said he was, according to the report.

Martin is charged with burglary, grand theft and violation of probation. He was held Thursday at the Palm Beach County Jail in lieu of $3,000 bail, records show.


Defiant clerk ordered bandit to leave — it worked! July 3, 2014

Filed under: Amazing,Beautiful,Controversy,Dumb,Florida Nut,Really Dumb,Robbers,Stupid,WTF? — floridaduh @ 7:44 pm

sfl-flduh-clerk-ordered-leave-20140702-001On Sunday, June 29th, Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office deputies responded to A Dollar General Store on 4444 Bee Ridge Road to a report of an attempted armed robbery.

The unknown suspect entered the establishment and demanded the clerk to open the register and informed him that he had a gun.

The clerk told the suspect to leave and the suspect fled from the store. The suspect left the area in a newer model light green colored sedan.

The suspect can be described as a Caucasian male, “6’1″, about 180 lbs, in his mid-30′s, dark hair with a goatee. He was last seen wearing a white t-shirt with a Mario Brothers character on the front of his shirt, dark grey shorts, black sneakers, and sunglasses.

Detectives with the Criminal Investigation Section responded and are currently investigating the incident.



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