floridaduh

The Bizarre World of Florida

Police Release Photo Of Victim Humped, Defiled By Notorious Walmart Masturbator October 20, 2014

Florida cops have released an image of the glassy-eyed victim of the notorious Walmart masturbator.

stuffedhorsewalmart

As seen in the above evidence photo, the brown, tan, and red stuffed horse was allegedly used Tuesday by Sean Johnson, 19, as he pleasured himself inside the store in Brooksville.

After splattering the “stuffed horse’s chest area” with ejaculate, Johnson placed it “on top of a bed in a bag (comforter set).” The toy, price tag in place, was later placed on Walmart’s floor, where it was photographed by a cop.

Read the original story here.

 

 

Man swiped toilet parts from fast food restaurants

Filed under: Bizzarre,Dumb,Florida Nut,Interesting,Really Dumb,Robbers,Weird,WTF? — floridaduh @ 1:06 pm

Police have arrested a man they say destroyed toilets in fast-food restaurants across the city as part of a metal recycling scheme.

sfl-flduh-toilet-parts-fast-food-20141017-001Brian Rinda, 28, allegedly stole flushing handles and pipes, then traded the brass parts for between $36 and $40 at the county recycling center. Sometimes he would cause as much as $1,000 in damage when he broke the toilets, according to St. Petersburg police reports.

Authorities suspect Rinda in thefts from numerous locations in St. Petersburg, including Wendy’s, McDonald’s, Burger King, Publix, Subway, Cracker Barrel and Bob Evans restaurants and Albert Whitted Park.

Detectives used records from the recycling center and surveillance video from the restaurants to identify Rinda, police said. He faces nine counts of theft.

 

DUI suspect can’t take a hint, gets into car anyway October 17, 2014

Filed under: Drunk,Florida Nut,Really Dumb,WTF?,Dumb,Alcohol,Stupid,OK Then ..... — floridaduh @ 1:12 pm

Police say a drunken Gainesville woman did not get the hint on Wednesday night from an officer who told her she was in no condition to drive.

sfl-flduh-drunk-drove-warned-20141016-001Instead of heeding the suggestion from the Gainesville police officer, she piled into her car and was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving, according to a Gainesville Police Department report.

A concerned citizen at the TGI Friday’s at 3598 SW Archer Road called GPD sometime before 3 a.m. to report a woman, later identified as Kelley Cunningham, who appeared too drunk to drive. An officer arrived and found the 51-year-old Cunningham struggling to stand outside of her car. Her eyes were bloodshot, and she had the smell of alcohol on her breath, an officer wrote in the report.

The officer told Cunningham she could not drive and should find another way home, and that he would park his patrol car near her vehicle to make sure she did not take off anyway.

Moments later, Cunningham — while staring at the patrol car — got in her own vehicle and tried to drive away, the report stated.

The officer performed a traffic stop and later found “multiple” open containers of vodka inside Cunningham’s car. She allegedly told officers she also consumed two drinks at the restaurant.

Cunningham failed the field sobriety tests performed by the officer, and she refused to provide a breath sample, according to the report. A subsequent investigation revealed her license already had been revoked from a DUI in 2010.

The officer also reported that he asked Cunningham if she was too drunk to drive.

“She stated, ‘Of course,’” the report stated.

 

Cold, angry woman attacked man in blanket battle October 16, 2014

Filed under: Bizzarre,Really Dumb,Fight,Bad Temper,WTF?,Controversy,Abuse,Amazing,Dumb,Stupid — floridaduh @ 4:09 pm

DeLand police rushed to a home where neighbors reported a woman had been screaming outside for 15 minutes only to find out she was fighting over a blanket, according to an arrest report.

sfl-flduh-blanket-battle-20141015-001Officers found Emma Campbell at 4:14 a.m. Tuesday at 729 Lindley Blvd. and, after an investigation, arrested and charged her with battery causing bodily harm.

Campbell, 20, of Wesley Chapel, left several long, deep scratch injuries on her boyfriend, Alexander McCall’s chest, back and upper right thigh, a report shows.

Police determined that the fracas was over a blanket. Campbell and McCall, 20, in a relationship for three years, were breaking up and could not agree on who was going to use the blanket Tuesday night.

That prompted a fight and a tug of war over the blanket as there was a dispute over the temperature setting of the air conditioning, police said.

Campbell then attacked McCall with her fingernails, police said.

“Due to Campbell’s aggressive attacks with her nails, McCall shoved her off of him at which time she landed on the floor,” officers wrote in their report.

Campbell claimed McCall cut her lips but police did not see any injuries on her, the report said. Campbell was released Tuesday from the Volusia County Branch Jail on her own recognizance.

 

Meet market? Man accused of stuffing sausage down his pants

Filed under: Bizzarre,Dumb,Florida Nut,Fraud,Really Dumb,Robbers,WTF? — floridaduh @ 4:07 pm

A 42-year-old Fort Walton Beach man is accused of hiding a pack of sausages in his pants.

sfl-flduh-stuffing-sausage-pants-20141015-001Fort Walton Beach Police officers were called for the theft on Oct. 7, according to the arrest report. Two managers at Publix Supermarket reported seeing James Michael Patterson take a pack of sausages from the shelf, walk to another aisle and “shove the package down his pants.”

Patterson had previously been trespassed from Publix on Oct. 3, the report said. One of the managers recognized him and called police before the theft for the trespassing.

The managers said that after Patterson concealed the sausages, he continued walking through the store, according to the report. When officers located Patterson, he was carrying a case of soda.

He was detained and officers located the sausages package in his pants, the report said. Patterson said “he was just hungry and wanted food.”

He is charged with shoplifting and trespassing.

 

Bouncers give tourist beatdown inside strip club, steal his jewelry October 14, 2014

A former Flagler County sheriff’s deputy is among four men charged with beating and stealing from a customer at Lollipops strip club in Daytona Beach.

sfl-flduh-bouncers-tourist-strip-club-20141013-001Daytona Beach police arrested Jermine Riley, 40, former deputy Michael Kramer, 35, and Brent Rose, 42, Saturday night as Local 6 cameras were rolling. All three are employees of the club, while a manager, Joseph Victorelli, 47, turned himself in at the Volusia County Jail on Sunday.

All four men have since bonded out of jail.

According to police, surveillance cameras show the four men severely beating 55-year-old Thomas Volz, who was visiting from Omaha, Nebraska. Police said in the video it is also clear the men stole several pieces of jewelry from Volz.

“He gets punched in the face, they knock him down to the ground and they stomp him. They give him a good old-fashioned beat down,” said Chief Mike Chitwood.

According to attorney Brett Hartley, who represents Lollipops, Volz was refusing to pay for $200 in lap dances he received. Volz said he never got the dances and the employees beat him up in an effort to intimidate him into paying.

Hartley said Volz was repeatedly asked to leave, but instead threatened the employees and kept trying to come back into the club. Hartley said Volz at one point appeared to physically challenge the bouncers and that Volz spit in the face of one of the bouncers, which initiated the physical confrontation.

In a phone conversation with Local 6, Volz said he will move forward in an effort to prosecute his alleged attackers. He said he was beaten “without regard for human life,” suffering a broken nose, sore ribs and a concussion.

 

Man jailed after dancing naked along Overseas Highway

A homeless man dancing nude on the side of U.S. 1 in Marathon was arrested Sunday night, says the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office.

sfl-flduh-dancing-naked-highway-20141013-001The person who called police said he saw Marino Sanchez, 60, at the entrance to the Marathon Government Center at mile marker 48.5 bayside just before 6 p.m. dancing around naked. When deputies Danielle Malone and Anthony Anderson arrived, Sanchez was gone but shortly thereafter found in nearby woods, still naked.

Sanchez was charged with misdemeanor indecent exposure and taken to jail, where he received inmate clothing.

 

 
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