The Bizarre World of Florida

Who wants to be confronted by a dude shaking his private part at a park? And then get followed out by the man with said part in hand? June 18, 2014

sfl-flduh-shakes-beach-20140617-001That’s what is reported to have played out before noon on May 12 at a park in the 2700 block of Northeast Ocean Boulevard in Jensen Beach, according to a recently released affidavit.

The suspected genital gyrater was described as an older man in a Hawaiian shirt driving north in a maroon Kia.

A Martin County Sheriff’s Office deputy stopped a vehicle matching the description and spoke to the driver, 68-year-old Richard Federmeyer.

“I was just peeing in the park,” Federmeyer is quoted as saying.

The victim came to the scene and identified Federmeyer as the private part exposer.

The victim said Federmeyer stood on the boardwalk and “pulled up the right leg of his shorts, took his penis in his hand and shook it at me.”

Most would consider genital shaking an atypical salutation or greeting.

Federmeyer then began following the victim to the parking lot with his private part in hand in a self-pleasuring motion.

The victim said he wasn’t going to engage in amorous activities, saying he was on the phone with police.

That’s when Federmeyer dropped his private part and drove off.

Federmeyer, of the 2500 block of Southeast Hilltop Court in Port St. Lucie, was arrested on exposure of sexual organs and lewd upon an elderly charges.



Could this dude be Florida’s very own ‘Fiddler on the (sun) Roof? June 12, 2014

A 24-year-old man was arrested after he was accused of climbing through a car sunroof and performing a sexually charged dance in front of others on the road.

Witnesses who saw the man’s genitals included a 10-year-old and a Sarasota County sheriff’s deputy, who ultimately took the man into custody.

sfl-flduh-danced-exposed-roof-20140611-001Jacob Timmer, who was “heavily intoxicated,” said he was having a bad day, according to the probable cause affidavit.

“I know, I screwed up,” Timmer told the deputy.

He was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition to a victim under the age of 16, according to the probable cause affidavit.

Timmer was cited for violating the seat belt law, according to Sarasota County Clerk of the Circuit Court’s website.

The incident occurred June 5 at Bee Ridge and Beneva roads, the affidavit said.

A sheriff’s deputy was parked on the south side of Bee Ridge when a silver Infiniti sped past at about 20 miles over the posted limit, according to the document.

The deputy, traveling in the left lane, caught up and was two cars behind the Infiniti, which was in the center lane.

“As I was running the tag of the vehicle, which was also expired, the passenger exited the sun roof and sat on the roof of the car,” the deputy wrote in the document. “The passenger began dancing, while sitting on the roof. I witnessed the passenger take his right hand, and expose his genitals to the vehicle next to him. The passenger then began to dance with his genitals exposed, still on the roof of the vehicle. The passenger shook his genitals, while dancing, and appeared to be presenting himself in a sexual manner.”

Those who observed Timmer’s moves included a grandmother and a 10-year-old sitting in a vehicle with untinted windows in the back seat, according to the report.

“It was easy to tell there was a child in the back seat,” the affidavit said.

Timmer was arrested and taken to jail where “he continued to be belligerent.”

Sheriff’s spokeswoman Wendy Rose said Timmer’s blood-alcohol level was not measured because he was a passenger, not a driver.

The report said he was on probation for a driving under the influence charge.


Guess you can call this, ‘Dancin in the street’ …. only naked June 11, 2014

A man walking around in public with no shirt on may not draw much attention.

But a guy out and about with no pants on likely will raise some eyebrows.

sfl-flduh-seminaked-pivoted-20140610-001A Fort Pierce police officer about 4:40 p.m. went to an address in the 100 block of South Indian River Drive “for a male who was in the store wearing only a blue polo shirt, with no pants nor underwear,” according to a recently released report.And in the May 30 case of Lowell Clark, 36, it prompted a response from law enforcement.

A witness told police the partially nude dude walked away from the store, which is in downtown Fort Pierce.

Meanwhile, the sergeant found the naked man, identified as Clark, nearby.

“Clark was still naked from the waist down and turning in place in front of a group of passersby,” the report states.

Clark, of the 2500 block of South 10th Street in Fort Pierce, was arrested on misdemeanor indecent exposure and resist officer obstruct without violence charges.


Man accused of texting lewd photos … to a cop June 10, 2014

A Marco Island man was arrested Sunday, accused of sending lewd photos to a Marco Island police officer.

sfl-flduh-texting-lewd-photos-20140609-001Paul Arnold Kirleis, 30, of the 800 block Panama Court, was charged with stalking and prohibition of certain acts in connection with obscene, lewd materials.

According to reports, Kirleis had contacted Marco police in reference to a suspicious vehicle in his neighborhood. An officer responded to Kirleis on his department-issued phone. After their conversation, according to reports, the officer began to receive texts from Kirleis’s phone number. The first text asked, “Who is this?” and the second text said, “I am boo,” according to reports. Following those texts, the officer received a photo of a man in a black thong and nothing else, according to reports. Two more photos followed, with a man who resembled Kirleis sending a photo of himself naked, bent over and looking back at the camera, and a photo of a man in lingerie, bent over, looking back at the camera, according to reports. A sixth text said, “Sooo,” according to reports.

Officers made contact with Kirleis, who admitted he called the police in reference to the suspicious incident, but also told police he was very intoxicated and did not remember much from the night.

Officers took his phone and enhanced the photos, determining the man in the photos looked like Kirleis, according to reports.


Woman, 68, And Male Partner Busted For Public Sex At Florida Retirement Community June 9, 2014

klemmA 68-year-old woman and her younger paramour were arrested last week for having sex in a town square at a Florida retirement community, police report.

Responding to calls about the 10:30 PM public tryst, sheriff’s deputies discovered Margaret Ann Klemm and David Bobilya, 49, fully engaged in a pavillion at The Villages, a sprawling 55-and-older community in central Florida’s Sumter County.

According to investigators, when deputies arrived at Lake Sumter Landing–one of The Villages’s three squares–Klemm (seen at right) waspantsless and had her shirt pulled down. Bobilya’s pants and underwear were at his ankles.

After Klemm and Bobilya–who appeared intoxicated–complied with police orders to put their clothes back on, they were arrested on indecent exposure and disorderly conduct charges for their June 2 romp.

bobilyaKlemm, a resident at The Villages, and Bobilya, who lives in nearby Summerfield, were briefly booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor counts (both were later released on $1500 bail). They are scheduled for arraignment on July 2, according to court records. Bobilya is pictured below.

Klemm’s arrest came four days after she settled a prior criminal case. Busted for DUI, she pleaded guilty to a reduced reckless driving count and was sentenced to a year’s probation. Klemm was driving a golf cart when she was busted in early-April.

The Villages, which describes itself as “Florida’s Friendliest Retirement Hometown,” has more than 50,000 residents. The community’s three old-fashioned town squares offer a variety of shopping, dining, and theater options. Additionally, free nightly entertainment–which ends at 9 PM–is offered in the squares, where the official performers are clothed.


Man Pees On Lawn, Get’s Pissed Off, Shoots Onlooker June 7, 2014

A Miami man who, police say, shot a man while they were arguing  faced a judge Friday.gilberto-martinezGilberto Martinez, 28, was arrested on Thursday, June 5th after police said he pulled a gun on two people, shooting one, after they commented over Martinez peeing in front of a home.

According to his arrest report, Jose Martinez and Genaro Merlos had just returned home from the store when they saw Gilberto Martinez urinating in front of their home.

The two men told the Gilberto he should not be doing that because there were small children at the house, according to the report.

Gilberto allegedly took offense to the comment and pulled out a black hand gun, stated the report.

Jose Martinez attempted to run away but was shot three times in the torso area.

Gilberto, then allegedly turned the gun on Merlos and said, “You too,” and pulled the trigger.

According to the report, Merlos, “heard the click of the gun but nothing happened.”

Gilberto then ran away but was later arrested.

Police said Gilberto Martinez later admitted to shooting the Jose Martinez  and then leaving the area.

Gilberto Martinez is charged with one count of attempted second degree murder.

A judge on Friday ordered him to be held on $50,000 bound plus house arrest.


Man, 77, accused of exposing his banana at farmers market June 5, 2014

A 77-year-old man was arrested Wednesday after a woman said he rubbed his private parts against her at a farmers market at the Volusia County Fairgrounds, the Sheriff’s Office said.

cartoon patient bananaThe woman was shopping at the crowded market on New York Avenue east of DeLand about 9:30 a.m. when she felt what she assumed was a bag of produce touch her twice from behind, investigators said.

Just before the incident, another woman said she saw Luis Gonzaga walk by with his genitals exposed and then cover himself with a plastic bag, which he removed when he got in line behind the shopper, deputies said.

The witness called to the woman to let her know what was going on, and Gonzaga tried to run away, investigators said. Shoppers tackled him and held him until deputies arrived.

Gonzaga, who lives in Orange City, at first denied that he indecently exposed himself but later said the exposure might have been inadvertent, investigators said. He acknowledged finding the woman in front of him “very attractive,” according to the Sheriff’s Office.

The incident happened in front of children, including babies and toddlers.

Gonzaga was being held late Wednesday at the Volusia County Branch Jail in Daytona Beach on charges of lewd or lascivious exhibition, indecent exposure and battery. Bail was set at $106,500.


Nude neighbor caught pumping his hose in front yard June 4, 2014

A nude dude spotted masturbating in his front yard got pinched by Port St. Lucie police, according to a recently released affidavit.

sfl-flduh-nude-neighbor-hose-20140603-001The father walked outside and spied Marriott “completely nude and masturbating in the front yard of his home” in the 300 block of Southwest Cherry Hill Road.Police learned of the naked man – 52-year-old Jeffery Marriott – after a neighbor on May 8 said he was in his house when his young daughter approached him.  “The man across the street is naked again,” the daughter is quoted as telling her father.

The father tried to confront Marriott, who got in a Ford sport utility vehicle and left.

The father said he could see Marriott putting on clothes inside the vehicle. The father returned home and contacted authorities. The father said it’s the third time his daughter said she’s seen Marriott sans clothes in his front yard.

As police spoke with the father, a vehicle matching the description of Marriott’s drove past. Police stopped it.

Marriott said he was returning to his home from a CVS on Darwin Boulevard.

“I asked Jeffery why he would be driving in the direction away from his home if he was returning from the CVS on Darwin Boulevard, and he declined to respond,” an affidavit states.

He later said he was at home, though denied being naked and masturbating in his front yard, an area uncommon to find people naked and masturbating.

Marriott was arrested on a felony lewd lascivious behavior charge.


Cops to take HARD LINE on aroused participants in nude ‘bike safety’ ride May 30, 2014

World-Naked-Bike-RideMen have been given a stiff warning not to get overexcited at the sight of unclad girls on a naked bike ride.

Around 200 people are expected to join the light-hearted protest to highlight the vulnerability of cyclists on our roads.

But protest leaders tore a strip off the bare-faced cheek of some ­“activists” who attended last year’s event purely to ogle women.

dangers-commuter-cyclistsSimon Terry, organiser of tomorrow’s protest ride in Canterbury, Kent, said: “Regrettably, we were let down by a small minority of participants in the 2013 ride who ignored our requests and behaved inappropriately.

“In short, they were there for their own benefit and not for the benefit and purpose of supporting the Canterbury World Naked Bike Ride.

“If you are thinking of coming to the start or finish area, not to participate but just because you like seeing naked girls, the police have been informed and have been asked to remove you.

“Should you be aroused you will pull over to the side of the road and cover yourself or dress immediately.

“Nudity is not an excuse for self-exhibitionism. Anyone who isn’t there for the same purpose as us will be removed.”

World Naked Bike Ride events are held around the globe to promote cycling over motor transport.

Riders in the Canterbury protest meet at the city castle at 2pm.


Stripper gets arrested, masturbates in cell to the enterta…err…horror of the officers May 23, 2014

A Florida stripper charged with resisting arrest repeatedly stripped and masturbated in a police cell and offered oral sex for her release, police say.

d14‘Workaholic’ Lakeisha Johnson, who is employed at Tootsie’s Cabaret in Miami, gave police officers an X-rated show after being arrested in the early hours of May 19.

The 29-year-old removed her clothes and ‘exposed her vagina, anus, and breasts’, according to a police report published by the Smoking Gun.

‘On several occasions, the female licked her breast and masturbated,’ explained officer Juan Canino. ‘[She] had to be ordered repeatedly to keep her clothes on and to stop masturbating’.

When a female officer went to search Ms Johnson she ‘removed her clothing once again and began rubbing her vagina’, police say

She then allegedly told Canino: ‘I’ll suck your d**k if you let me go.’

Johnson was initially questioned by officers investigating the theft of an iPad when she started ‘using extremely vulgar language and began removing clothing,’ police say.

She was taken into custody after allegedly slapping an officer on the arm.

Johnson, who remains in police custody, was charged with resisting an officer without violence. She is not facing any additional charges for her ‘vulgar behaviour’.



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