floridaduh

The Bizarre World of Florida

Walmart + Stuffed Horse + Ejaculate = Florida, of course October 15, 2014

Police in Brooksville have arrested a man for allegedly masturbating using a stuffed animal inside Walmart.

5174999_GPolice say 19-year-old Sean Johnson of Lake Panasoffkee has been charged with indecent exposure in public and criminal mischief for the act.

Officers responded to the Walmart on Broad Street just before 3 p.m. Tuesday for the complaint. Employees say they saw Johnson using a stuffed horse toy and go to the bedding department where he masturbated into the animal. The incident was caught on camera.

He then put the toy, now covered in ejaculate, back on the shelf, police say. Other items were contaminated and could not be sold.

Johnson fled the store but was located by police nearby. He was arrested and taken to the Hernando County Jail on $1,500 bond.

 

Have you ever been locked outside while naked?

Don’t you hate it when you lock yourself out of your apartment when you’re drunk?

And naked.

And the police show up.

sfl-flduh-looked-outside-naked-20141014-001Fort Pierce police about 7:25 a.m. Sept. 13 went to Carlton Court and Seaway Drive for a disturbance in which “a naked female was running around the area yelling and screaming, and this had been going on for an hour,” the affidavit states.That appears to be what happened to Carrie Starling, 27, in Fort Pierce, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

Residents pointed to an address in the 1100 block of Carlton Court, saying a naked lady was nearby breaking things and yelling.

Investigators encountered Starling in her birthday suit, apparently intoxicated.

Starling’s speech was slurred and she said she’d been drinking.

She said she locked herself out of her apartment, and police found “smashed pots where she had caused a disturbance.”

After finding that Starling’s apartment was locked, police took her to the St. Lucie County jail where she was locked up on a disorderly intoxication charge.

 

Man jailed after dancing naked along Overseas Highway October 14, 2014

A homeless man dancing nude on the side of U.S. 1 in Marathon was arrested Sunday night, says the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office.

sfl-flduh-dancing-naked-highway-20141013-001The person who called police said he saw Marino Sanchez, 60, at the entrance to the Marathon Government Center at mile marker 48.5 bayside just before 6 p.m. dancing around naked. When deputies Danielle Malone and Anthony Anderson arrived, Sanchez was gone but shortly thereafter found in nearby woods, still naked.

Sanchez was charged with misdemeanor indecent exposure and taken to jail, where he received inmate clothing.

 

Woman accused of committing solo sex act on motorcycle in open garage September 9, 2014

A woman who Ormond Beach police say was committing a sex act atop a motorcycle with her garage door open was arrested after the activity was witnessed by a 13-year-old boy, the child’s mother and another neighbor, an arrest report shows.

sfl-flduh-sex-act-motorcycle-20140908-001Karen Marie Dilworth was charged with lewd/lascivious exhibition by a person over 18 on a person under 16, after the incident in front of her house on Pine Cone Trail in The Trails subdivision on Saturday night, a report shows.

The 50-year-old Dilworth, who denied she committed a sex act on a motorcycle, told Ormond Beach police that she was in her garage smoking and drinking beers, the report shows.

But at least two of her neighbors said otherwise, one of them calling 9-1-1 and yelling at Dilworth to shut her garage door.

The boy and his mother were arriving at their residence on Pine Cone Trail when they spotted Dilworth — the front of her half-nude body on the bike was facing the street — in her garage, the report shows. The shocked mother called out to her other neighbor and that neighbor in turn yelled out to Dilworth, the report shows.

Dilworth was taken to the Volusia County Branch Jail and was released after she posted $1,000 bail. When reached by phone Monday, Dilworth declined comment.

 

Bare-naked lady showed up in yard, refused to leave September 3, 2014

A woman accused of showing up “buck (buttocks)” naked in a back yard got arrested after a call to Fort Pierce police, according to recently released records.

sfl-naked-and-not-afraid-woman-20140902-001Arriving officers saw Joan Canally, 48, “totally naked walking towards us,” a report states.Police on Aug. 24 went to an address in the 700 block of Citrus Avenue for a possible sexual assault, which ultimately was determined to be something else.

Canally said she was sexually assaulted, but three witnesses said she “came over naked and would not leave and no one had sex with her.”

She later said she asked for sex, and then had sex with her boyfriend.

One witness said she came out of the house and spotted Canally naked in the backyard. The witness said Canally refused to say why she had no clothes on and also wouldn’t leave.

A second witness said Canally “came over to our yard ‘buck (buttocks)’ naked,” saying she’s not supposed to be there.

A third witness said he returned from the store and a naked lady was in the backyard.

Police reported Canally had trespass warnings issued to her in June and July.

“This is not the first time Canally has called 911 saying she was sexually assaulted,” a report states. “Past investigations reveal Canally admitting to walking to (an address in the 700 block of Citrus Avenue) asking the homeless men for sex, in exchange for beer.”

Canally, of the 700 block of Citrus Avenue in Fort Pierce, was jailed on trespass after warning and indecent exposure charges.

 

Man accused of exposing himself, shaking genitals at apartments September 1, 2014

sfl-flduh-exposing-shaking-genitals-20140828-001 (1)A 60-year-old Fort Walton Beach man is accused of exposing himself in front of a woman and her 2-year-old son at an apartment complex.

Richard Wild pulled his pants down below his knees, placed his hands on his hips, and then began “shaking” his genitals while “yelling incoherently,” according to the arrest report. Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies spoke to the woman, who said she turned herself and her son away to avoid seeing anything further.

Wild said his pants had fallen down because they were loose, according to the report.

He is charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition – intentionally exposing his genitals in the presence of a victim under 16 years old, which is a second degree felony.

 

A nude dude entered stranger’s car in a parking lot, deputies say August 20, 2014

sfl-flduh-naked-man-car-20140819-001Pinellas deputies arrested a nude man recently after he banged on cars outside a beach motel, then entered a car that wasn’t his.

The incident occurred about 12:30 a.m. Aug. 10 outside the Plaza Beach motel, 4506 Gulf Blvd. in St. Pete Beach. A night manager approached the naked man as he was banging on two cars. The man yelled that one of the cars was his and he climbed inside.

The car, in fact, belonged to the night manager.

Deputies were called and the naked man ran away. He was later found hiding behind a car.

Kevin Matthew Robert, 22, of Kissimmee, was arrested on a disorderly conduct charge.

 

 
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