floridaduh

The Bizarre World of Florida

Pimpin’ [while eating Wendy's in front of Walgreen's with your junk hanging out] ain’t easy April 19, 2014

Mugshot-Anthony-JohnsonA homeless man who goes by the nickname “City Pimp” was arrested after allegedly eating fast food from Wendy’s while lying in front of another business with his pants down and his genitals exposed.

Anthony Johnson, 54, was arrested in front of a Walgreen’s store in the 1200 block of Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard on Wednesday afternoon.

According to the arrest report, Johnson “was laying in the front of the business with his pants around his knees, exposing his genitals.”

The arresting officer also wrote in the report that the Walgreen’s manager said Johnson “is a constant problem to the business, and they receive numerous complaints a day about him on the property.”

Johnson was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition.

 

Looks like the grape escape from the grocer didn’t last long April 15, 2014

A woman accused of walking into a Publix with no pants on and walking out with two stolen boxes of wine has been caught, police said.

See the video

sfl-flduh-pantless-vino-thief-20140414-001Desiree Taylor, 35, was arrested Monday morning at her apartment by Ocala police.

Taylor entered the store on College Road and grabbed the two boxes of wine, worth about $42, and left.

Authorities said the store manager tried to stop Taylor from stealing the wine, but she started swinging her arms wildly and fled.

Taylor was arrested on March 2 on charges including battery on a firefighter or emergency medical technician and resisting an officer.

Authorities said those charges stemmed from an incident in which Taylor was acting strangely and screaming profanities at an apartment complex pool and resisting officers and firefighters when they came to check on her well-being.

 

Couple had sex on the beach … not the drink April 11, 2014

Filed under: Florida Nut,Groping,Nudity,OK Then .....,Sex,Sexual Exposure,Stupid,WTF? — floridaduh @ 1:18 pm

A quick kiss on the cheek between a couple is widely considered an acceptable public display of affection.

But more than 20 minutes of full blown sexual intercourse could be considered pushing things.

sfl-flduh-sex-on-the-beach-drink-real-0140410-001

The latter is the situation Shanna Kelley, 35, and 37-year-old Sean Dempsey apparently found themselves in about 12:30 a.m. April 2 in the area of the Tiki Bar restaurant in Fort Pierce, according to recently released records.

FPPD_case-thumb-500x389-15385A Fort Pierce police officer dispatched to the scene saw a woman with her pants down to her ankles and a nude dude “engaging in sexual intercourse in plain view of the road and surrounding areas,” a report states.

The man, identified as Dempsey, quickly “broke contact from the female and began pulling his pants up, while laughing.”

The woman, identified as Kelley, told investigators that Dempsey is her boyfriend and was in town for a visit.

She said they didn’t see anyone around, so they started having sex on the park picnic table.

Dempsey, who smelled of booze, said he had “a bit” to drink, saying he was trying to “have fun.”

He grew angry and made statements such as, “Why can`t you be cool, if I wanted to I could be a real (rectum) and make this arrest hard for you.”

Meanwhile, a man told investigators that he and a friend were fishing and the couple copulated for more than 20 minutes.

Kelley, of the 300 block of North 11th Street in Fort Pierce, and Dempsey, of the 100 block of Serenata Court in Port St. Lucie, each were arrested on an indecent exposure charge, while Dempsey also was arrested on a disorderly intoxication charge.

 

Uncorked: Pantless woman stole vino from grocer April 10, 2014

sfl-flduh-pantless-vino-thief-20140409-001A woman wearing only a shirt and slippers took two boxes of wine from a grocery store Tuesday and left without paying for the beverages.

Store officials at Publix at 5400 SW College Road, Ocala, told Ocala Police Department Officer Charles Hunt that the woman, who had on a black shirt and slippers, but no underwear or other garment, entered the store at about 1:40 p.m. They said she walked to the wine aisle and picked up two boxes of wine and walked past the cashier line and started out the door, according to the OPD report.

A store manager tried to stop the woman, who “became hysterical” and ran away with the wine, which was valued at $41.68, the report notes.

Officials described the woman as black, of medium build and standing about 5 feet 4 inches tall, with a tattoo on her neck.

Anyone with information about the woman or her whereabouts can call OPD at 369-7000, Crime Stoppers at 368-STOP, or visit www.ocalacrimestoppers.com. Tips can be sent via the MyPD App or by texting 274637 using keyword 368STOP.

 

Christian High School Teacher Caught Half-Naked With 14-Year-Old Student April 8, 2014

Eric-Beasley-125x188A South Florida teacher was arrested Tuesday after he was caught having sex with a 14-year-old student, police said.

According to the Lighthouse Point police report, Eric Beasley, 24, was the ninth-grade student’s biology teacher at Zion Lutheran Christian School in Deerfield Beach.

An officer found Beasley and the teen having sex in a parked car behind a business, the report claimed.

While being questioned by detectives, Beasley admitted to engaging in inappropriate behavior with the girl at school, including kissing during her lunch breaks, the report stated.

“It’s absolutely appalling,” Rosalyn Smith, whose child attends the school, told Local 10.

Police said they also found pictures of Beasley’s penis on his phone that he sent to the girl.

“Not just my child, but I’m concerned about all of the children here at the school,” Smith said.

A student at the school said he thought Beasley was “a weird creep-o.”

School officials have not commented on the arrest.

 

Vampires, nudists, snakes: Nobody does wacky like Florida April 7, 2014

os-florida-congressional-candidate-vampire-201-001

By: Scott Maxwell

Last week, news broke that a congressional candidate in Gainesville had a secret pastime: impersonating vampires. And superheroes.

Some people would call this nutty.

In Florida, we just call it Tuesday.

Seriously, that’s not even our highest-profile vampire story. Remember the “vampire killings” from Lake County?

Some of our stories are heartbreakingly tragic. But so many are also mind-numbingly strange.

In Florida, we do weird the way Kansas does wheat.

Here, giant pet snakes escape. And breed. And then invade our national parks.

We have fish that eat people, alligators that eat people and people who eat people.

Two years ago, when news of the “cannibal attack” broke, the nation let out a collective gasp … until learning it was Miami. Then it all made sense.

We have killer amoebas, hanging chads and diaper-wearing astronauts. (All of which would make awesome rock-band names, by the way.)

We have a town named Christmas … where it never snows. We have the world’s smallest post office and a couple trying to build America’s largest house.

I used to think Florida attracted wacky people. Now I think it creates them.

Take my grandfather, for example.

Early in his life, he was a NASA engineer in Virginia — and as strait-laced and buttoned-down as they came. His passions were photography and crossword puzzles.

Then he moved to Florida. After Grandma died, we worried that our sober and contemplative grandfather would become listless and uninspired.

He became neither of those things. Instead, he became a nudist. (Lending more credence to the notion that it’s never the people you want to see naked at a nudist resort.)

At first, we were all: What the heck, Granddad?

But you know what? He found new life and inspiration. He’d travel down Interstate4 from Ormond Beach to Cypress Cove, where he’d pay strict adherence to the two main rules: Never take pictures, and always place a towel on the bar stool before you sit down.

Florida liberated him. And he spent the remaining, widowed years of his life happy. So you go, Granddad.

By the way, nudity is another one of our weird themes.

•”Nude man found dead on killer whale’s back”

•”Florida Lotto winner seeks to open a nude dude ranch”

•”Blind woman sues nudist colony over heavy dog”

Florida newspapers carry such headlines the way other papers carry horoscopes.

Some of that is understandable. It’s hot down here.

And I don’t mean happy, sand-at-your-toes, wind-in-your-hair hot. I mean sweaty-thighs-stuck-to-your-car-seats, armpit-stains-like-dinner-plates hot. It’s enough to make anyone nutty. And naked.

But it cuts both ways. When it’s hot, it makes us crazy. When it’s pleasant, we attract other states’ crazies. I mean, if it’s January and you’re already planning to run a scam, con or heist, would you rather do it in Buffalo or Boynton Beach?

This state is also lousy with newspapers and TV stations, meaning we have more ink-stained wretches and blow-dried broadcasters than your average state to tell all the weird stories.

Finally, there’s our melting-pot effect.

You simply can’t throw so many different cultures together and not expect some fireworks.

But you know what? That is also part of what makes this state so splendidly unique.

We have character and texture — a bouillabaisse of native and newcomer, sinner and saint, scholar and simpleton.

It’s a fusion that produces a weeklong bacchanalia in Key West and pioneering medical research at the Burnham Institute.

It’s the reason Orlando can turn out just as many people for a Veterans Day parade as it does for Come Out With Pride.

And it explains how a mild-mannered rocket engineer can feel inspired to start a new life by ditching his pocket protector — along with everything else he’s wearing.

And, yes, it’s also how we end up with some of the wackiest politicians in America — including a vampire-impersonating, superhero-mimicking, punk-rock lawyer running for Congress.

Just what we need … another lawyer in Congress.

 

When they say “Get a room”, I don’t think a Walgreen’s bathroom stall is what they had in mind March 25, 2014

The old, old adage, “Get a room” certainly holds true for one lust filled couple this past weekend in Winter Haven, Florida.

Christopher-Mahurin-250x30024-year-old Winter Haven man, Christopher Mahurin and 22 year-old Jenna Lynn Frey’s urges were so strong Saturday that the couple decided to stop at a Walgreen’s drug store and “bump uglies” in a stall in the women’s bathroom.

This is when the story turns south for Mahurin. While the pair was still in the stall, a 6 year-old female entered the restroom while her father stood nearby, according to Winter Haven police.

After the victim was inside of the restroom, Mahurin exited the stall completely naked. Mahurin immediately pushed the girl towards the door and she began screaming. The victim’s father, who was just outside of the restroom door, heard the screams and entered the restroom to grab his daughter.

When the WHPD did arrive, they found the adventurous couple in the parking lot sitting inside of a car with the keys in the ignition.

After denying the sexual escapade to police, Frey finally admitted to the dirty deed.

Mahurin was booked into the Polk county Jail on charges of Lewd/Lascivious Exhibition (F3), Indecent Exposure in Public (M1), Battery (M1) and Knowingly Driving With Suspended or Revoked License (M2).

 

James Stanton Recorded His Female Coworkers For Years March 24, 2014

A man in Tampa has been charged with 123 counts of video voyeurism after a co-worker found videos on his computers, according to Tampa police.

James-Stanton_zpsc9c51102Police said James Stanton, 39, had been using a video recording device for several years to capture videos of at least five female victims using the bathroom and showering in the locker room at MaintenX, a maintenance service company in Tampa, where Stanton worked.

According to police, an IT employee for the company discovered the videos when servicing Stanton’s computer. Police said the employee notified management, then turned to police with information and the videos when he reportedly saw no action from management.

There are more than 200 videos dating back to 2010 and Stanton can be seen in some of them, handling the camera after the victims left the rooms.

Not all of the videos show victims’ faces, police said, so they are working to identify additional victims. They will also investigate to see if there are additional videos, if other employees were involved and if there are other charges Stanton could face.

 

Blind woman sues Florida nudist community over service dog March 3, 2014

Filed under: Controversy,Interesting,Lawsuit,Nudity,Really Dumb,Unusual,WTF? — floridaduh @ 4:19 pm

At Paradise Lakes Resort, the rules for clothing are loose. In fact, there are no rules for clothing — it’s optional.

The rules for pets? More restrictive.

psc_dog022614_12641565_8colAccording to a lawsuit filed last year and a subsequent appeal, animals more than 25 pounds violate the condominium association’s rules, and must be “registered at the condominium office.”

Sharon Fowler, a resident, has a black Labrador named Laura, who weighs well over the threshold. The condo association had a problem with this, and sent a letter telling Fowler to get rid of the dog, or move out. Fowler said she had a right to keep the dog. The reason? She’s legally blind, and Laura is her service animal.

“She helps me to get around curbs and obstacles,” Fowler said in her home Monday with Laura sleeping at her feet, “She’s 100 percent necessary to me. She’s my lifeline.”

Before Fowler moved into the community, she was required to fill out an application and pass a background check. She disclosed her need for Laura and the dog’s weight. Her application was approved.

Then in August of 2012, the association sent her landlord a letter saying they needed to address the issue of the dog “immediately.” When Fowler provided documentation of her disability, the association did not withdraw the notice of the violations, according to the lawsuit.

“I felt demeaned, and I felt degraded,” Fowler said. “I’ve never felt so degraded.”

She called prominent law firm Morgan and Morgan and filed a civil rights lawsuit in Pasco court. The suit seeks monetary damages for mental anguish and injunctive relief: basically, she wants to live in Paradise Lakes without being bothered or harassed.

“The association kept demanding more proof of her disability,” said Fowler’s lawyer, Jessica Thorson. “She is legally blind.”

The condo association seemed to back off after the suit was filed, and circuit Judge Linda Babb dismissed the complaint. An appeals court reversed that decision, however, and now Fowler plans to proceed.

“It’s the principle of the fact,” Fowler’s husband, Craig, said. “The board needs to know they cannot bully us around.”

Fowler says Lisa Caruso, the condo association president, has told her to only walk the dog in specific areas, and that the dog must move out of the way of pedestrians. Also, she’s been told her dog is out of control.

“My dog is a highly trained service animal,” Fowler said. “She is not out of control.”

Caruso declined to comment for this story, citing pending litigation.

Fowler says she’s been accused of not cleaning up after her dog and that people yell at her because Laura is too big. She said it’s the board of directors that tries to intimidate her. And with the board of directors, go the residents.

But she won’t let it affect her, she said. She’s been through so much already. About four years ago, Fowler was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease called leukocytoclastic vasculitis, an inflammation of the blood vessels.

Her veins and capillaries started breaking down. Her sight went first. Her hearing is next, she said. She’s had 13 surgeries and takes 15 medications a day. She wants the harassment to stop.

It won’t push her out of Paradise Lakes, though. She loves the location, and she knows the area — for a blind woman, that means a lot. She can walk to Walmart with Laura. Sometimes, when her children aren’t around, she likes to shed her clothes and walk and feel free in the sunshine.

 

Some people like to hang out in town … but …. this is not what they mean February 27, 2014

sfl-flduh-exposed-himself-women-20140226-002A Sarasota homeless man has been arrested after police say he exposed himself in a lewd manner to three women around the downtown area in recent weeks.

27-year-old Michael Willett has been charged with three counts of Exposure of Sexual Organs.

According to Sarasota Police reports, Willett was seen on February 12th by a woman exiting the back door of a restaurant on Lime Avenue just north of Fruitville Road.  The woman told police he was masturbating across the alley, which is a short distance from a church and day care.

Another woman reported on February 18th that Willett followed her while masturbating as she walked along the 700 block of Central Avenue in the Rosemary District.

Then on February 20th, another woman says Willett followed her vehicle into the parking garage near the Hollywood 20 Theater on Main Street. She says when she exited her vehicle, he began masturbating.

A records search on Willetts indicates several previous arrests for indecent exposure in the past.

 

 
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