The Bizarre World of Florida

Brief encounters: Men in undies strip in eatery, steal meat July 24, 2014

Filed under: Bizzarre,Dumb,Florida Nut,Fraud,Funny,Nudity,Really Dumb,Robbers,Silly,WTF? — floridaduh @ 1:43 pm

1Southwest Florida Crime Stoppers is asking for the public’s help identifying a group of men who broke into a local beachside restaurant in their underwear and took off with the makings for an early morning cookout. According to detectives, the men, all wearing nothing but their underwear, broke into Doc’s Beach House, located at 27908 Hickory Blvd., Bonita Springs, around 3 a.m. on Sunday, July 20. After roaming around the kitchen area, deputies say the men selected a case of 2amburgers and red bell peppers. However before leaving, the suspects were caught on video removing their underwear and walking around the kitchen nude. It appears the men fled on foot, beachside, headed towards the Collier County line, where the red peppers were found along the beach a few hours later.

Anyone with information on the identities and whereabouts of the 3suspects is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-780-TIPS (8477). All callers will remain anonymous and will be eligible for a cash reward of up to $1,000. Tips may also be made online at www.swflcrimestoppers.org or by texting a tip to CRIMES (274637) Keyword: REWARD. 


77 year-old man attacked by …. a naked man July 23, 2014

sfl-flduh-naked-man-attacked-20140722-001Collier County deputies say an elderly Naples resident was attacked and wrestled to the ground by a naked man Monday night.

The incident unfolded when the 77-year-old victim went to check on a disturbance he heard outside his apartment on Palm Street.

The victim said he heard loud thumping and banging next door, so he yelled: “Can I help you?” He told deputies that’s when the chaos began.

Almost immediately after stepping outside, the victim said a naked man punched him in the face and wrestled him to the ground without warning. The victim was able to run away and call deputies.

When deputies responded, they say the man was still naked and several liquour bottles were scattered through the apartment. Deputies say he was asked to put on clothes, but refused to do so. Deputies say the suspect cursed at them — at one point saying, “Stupid [expletive]! Don’t know why I’m here!”

The suspect — identified as 28-year-old Andrew Restrepo — appeared to be under the influence, deputies say.

Deputies continued to question the suspect, who they say became even more belligerent. Restrepo was then placed under arrest and taken to the Naples Jail Center.

According to the arrest report, the suspect is the boyfriend of the tenant who lives at the residence next to the victim.


From paradise to the pokey: Couple charged with having sex on the beach

A man and a woman were arrested on charges of having sex in public on Cortez Beach on Sunday night, according to the Bradenton Beach Police Department.

sfl-flduh-sex-beach-cortez-20140722-001A witness called police and said she saw Elissa Alvarez, 20, and Jose Caballero, 39, fondling each other and eventually having sex on a sheet next to her at 8:36 p.m. Sunday in the 500 block of Gulf Drive on Cortez Beach, according to a report.

Six other people filled out complaints in connection to the incident, and the original witness told police she was especially upset because her 4-year-old daughter had witnessed the couple’s activities, according to the report.

One witness filmed the two on a camera phone as evidence for police, who took the two into custody and charged them both with lewd and lascivious exhibition, according to police records.

Both were taken to the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office jail and are currently out on $7,500 bond each.

Caballero has multiple charges on his record stemming from past drug use.



Husband leaves his naked wife on sandbar because ‘she caught him in a sex act with another man’ July 17, 2014

A Florida wife was rescued from a remote sandbar wearing nothing but a lifejacket on Sunday after her husband dumped her there following a blazing drunken row on their jet ski.

article-2695135-1FB06B3300000578-739_306x423The violent argument was sparked by Pamela Doster, 45, accusing her husband of two-years, David Doster, 49, of engaging in a sex act with another man.

Pulled from the Passage Key sands – a famous offshore nudist beach popular with swingers – by boat, Pamela Doster’s testimony led to the arrest of her husband for domestic battery.

According to the Manatee County Sheriff’s report, Doster and his wife Pamela were on a Sea-Doo jet ski near to the Passage Key sandbar when they began fighting.

According to the report, Pamela told her husband that she had seen him and another man performing oral sex on one another.

The report does not specify when and where this occurred, but the arresting officer said that Pamela claimed it involved the men ‘giving each other a blow job’.

The report seen by Smoking Gun states that Doster, who was riding the Sea-Doo, threw his wife off the jet ski four times and ‘During the last time she was pulled off she hit her head against the side of the jet ski.

She refused to get back on the ski with him and stayed on the sandbar which rests under knee deep water.

Her husband tried to get her back on the jet ski but she flat out refused and eventually Mike Doster rode away, leaving her there.

When he reached shore he did call 911 and informed rescue services she was out at sea and when they pulled her back in, emergency workers noticed she had a ‘bruise/bump’ on her head, a bruise on her biceps, and a ‘large swollen area to her left hip area.’

She was transported to a local hospital for treatment.

The beach at Passage Key plays host to many nude swimmers in the warm waters of the Gulf all through the year.

It is not known if Mike Doster was piloting the jet ski in the nude at the time of the altercation.

He was released from a Florida jail on Tuesday after posting $5000 bond on a misdemeanor count.


Man caught in sexapade; his girlfriend caught with something else, cops say

It could be said the evening was going swimmingly for the 57-year-old man.

Not only was he intoxicated, but he was actively engaged in sexual intercourse with a 45-year-old woman, also intoxicated.

sfl-fls-sex-romp-20140716-001The man told police when Hughes spied him and the other woman together, she grew “enraged and started shattering everything of his in the house,” according to a recently released Port St. Lucie police report.But the situation that June 27 night in Port St. Lucie soured suddenly when the man’s girlfriend, Linda Hughes, 54, came home and saw them mid-romp.

As a rule of thumb, women do not approve of their boyfriends having sex with other women.

Still, the 57-year-old man said he didn’t want to pursue charges against Hughes for trashing his sports memorabilia, valued at $2,000, and furniture.

The 45-year-old woman said she and the 57-year-old man were in a fornication situation when Hughes “walked in and caught them.” She said Hughes got upset and started destroying “everything in the residence.”

She started quarreling with Hughes about breaking stuff when Hughes kicked her in the abdomen.

Meanwhile, Hughes said she came home after drinking and found her boyfriend and the 45-year-old woman copulating.

The 45-year-old woman wouldn’t let police photograph the area where Hughes is alleged to have kicked her. She said it was “too embarrassing.”

“It should be noted that all parties were intoxicated and refused to write statements,” the report states.

Police arrested Hughes, of the 1200 block of Southwest Mot Court in Port St. Lucie, on a battery charge.

On the way to jail, an officer reported Hughes was moving around and fiddling with her hands behind her back. The officer found a pot pipe under the seat where Hughes had been sitting.

“I’m sorry, it was my friends and I forgot I had it on me so I didn’t want to get caught with it on me,” Hughes is quoted as saying.

Hughes was arrested on additional charges including possession of less than 20 grams of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and smuggling contraband – introduce into a detention facility.


Joy McCall Gets 10 Years In Prison For Having Sex With 12-Year-Old Boy July 16, 2014

Joy L. McCall was arrested earlier this week after the 35-year-old was charged with having sex with a 12-year-old son of a family friend.

Joy-McCall1The victim’s mother called the Ocala Police Department to report she believed her son was in a sexual relationship with one of her friends. Her son supposedly told a friend at church about having a sexual  relationship with McCall, and that boy cock-blocked told his mother, who then contacted the victim’s mother to relay what she’d been told.

After learning of the possible relationship, the victim’s mother conducted her own investigation and found some disturbing text messages between McCall and her son that seemed to confirm the two had sex on multiple occasions. “She was able to see through the different text messaging that had occurred between McCall and the juvenile. And determine the dates that the incidents had occurred,’ said Sergeant Angy Scroble.

When police interviewed the boy, he confirmed his mother’s suspicions and told them he’d had sex with “Ms. Joy” on three occasions. The first was in January after he began receiving Facebook messages from McCall that “continued getting more heated.” After sending him pictures of herself in her underwear, she texted him to meet her at the Paddock Mall.

He did, and the two had sex in the backseat of McCall’s car. Five days later, she picked him up while he was riding his bicycle and the two had sex in some secluded woods. They met again in February and had sex in the same wooded area.

McCall, who has children the same age as the victim, was interviewed by police and admitted she’d had sex with the boy. Joy L. McCall was arrested and charged with three counts of lewd and lascivious battery. On Tuesday, Judge Jim McCune set McCall’s bond at $45,000.

McCall is currently on suicide watch at the Marion County Jail.


Man accused of exposing himself to boaters July 14, 2014

sfl-flduh-exposing-himself-boaters-20140711-001A 25-year-old Crestview man is accused of celebrating Independence Day by allegedly having sex with a woman in the water at Crab Island and then openly exposing himself to other revelers.

Witnesses said Emilo J. Ariasreyes and a woman were chest deep in the water, apparently having sex, the arrest report said. After they were done, Ariasreyes either stood up or moved to shallower water, exposing his buttocks to other boaters.

He then turned to face a boat, exposing his genitals, the report said. He waited until he could see the boaters looking in his direction. He then allegedly “threw his arms into the air as if to encourage and insure [sic] the viewing of his genitals.”

The boaters included a family including two men, two women, a 10-year-old boy, a 13-year-old boy and two 14-year-old girls who were family friends.

Ariasreyes is charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition by an offender older than 18 and a victim under age 12.


Burger King may be home of the whopper — but please keep yours under wraps July 11, 2014

sfl-flduh-burger-kings-slogan-20140710-001A man evidently couldn’t have it his way after being arrested during a late night lewd incident at a Burger King in Fort Pierce.

A lieutenant arrived and reported seeing a man later identified as James Williams with his pants halfway to his knees. Williams, 25, was fondling/caressing his nether region.Police about 11:52 p.m. on June 26 went to the fast food eatery in the 2000 block of South U.S. 1 after a report of a dude exposing himself, according to a recently released report.

Meanwhile, a witness reported she was behind the front counter when she saw Williams in front of the side door.

His pants were to his knees and his right hand was not holding a Whopper — Burger King’s signature sandwich — but his private parts.

Williams, listed as homeless, was arrested by Fort Pierce police on an indecent exposure charge.


Heroin not working? Try a yoga striptease buzz

Filed under: Bizzarre,Drugs,Florida Nut,Nudity,OK Then .....,Really Dumb,Silly,Stupid,WTF? — floridaduh @ 12:55 pm

sfl-iflduh-heroin-yoga-20140710-001A 51-year-old woman was arrested Wednesday afternoon on heroin-possession and other charges after police say she was found doing yoga and taking off her clothes in the middle of an Ocala street.

Michele Rene Cernak was arrested on possession of a controlled substance without a prescription, possession of heroine and possession of drug paraphernalia, according to an Ocala Police Department report.

Officers got a call about an apparently intoxicated woman doing yoga in the 300 block of Southeast Sanchez Avenue. Then they learned that she appeared to be taking her clothes off.

Officers reported finding her with her jeans down to her ankles but still wearing her panties.

Her pickup was nearby, still running with a door open. Inside officers found the drugs and paraphernalia, according to the report.

An officer said she admitted buying four bindles of heroin and using two of them.


Masturbating man at Walmart came prepared July 7, 2014

sfl-flduh-masturbating-walmart-20140706-001A man was arrested in Orange County after detectives said he exposed himself and masturbated in front of a woman in a Walmart parking lot.

Deputies said Gregory Johnson, 53, pulled his black Saab next to the victim in the Walmart parking lot on Hiawassee Road on Thursday. The mother was sitting in the car with the window rolled down while the woman’s husband and daughter were inside shopping.

She told police Johnson got out of his car and moved into the passenger seat of his car, before he pulled down his pants and began to masturbate.

When the husband and daughter returned, Johnson moved his car to a different parking spot.

The woman called police and her husband was able to give them Johnson’s tag number.

When police pulled over Johnson, they searched his car and found a black bag filled with Viagra pills and condoms.

Johnson was arrested and charged with lewd and lascivious behavior and violation of probation.

According to reports, Johnson has been arrested several times before for similar offenses.

He was on probation for an alleged sexual assault and is listed as a high-risk sex offender.



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