The Bizarre World of Florida

Suspect to deputy: “I thought I’d be safe following you” October 28, 2014

Filed under: Bad Luck,Bizzarre,Controversy,Dangerous Nut,Dumb,Stupid,WTF? — floridaduh @ 2:39 pm

sfl-flduh-dui-safe-following-20141027-001This dude apparently got caught up in a Catch 22 — with the law.

An Iowa man, identified as Damian John Campion, is accused of tailing a deputy on I-75 in Collier County, keeping pace with the deputy’s car as the lawman sped up to 103 miles per hour — while trying to snare another speeder, reports the Naples Daily News.

Campion explained his speeding to the deputy, saying “Just following you,” and “I thought I’d be safe following you,” records show.


Do strippers have a leg up on us when it comes to field sobriety tests? October 27, 2014

Filed under: Alcohol,Amazing,Bizzarre,Controversy,Drunk,DUI,Funny,WTF? — floridaduh @ 2:17 pm

Despite saying she was a “stripper” and had not taken painkillers in more than 114 years, a Palm Bay woman could not avoid a trip to jail, according to a recently released arrest affidavit.

sfl-flduh-stripper-dui-20141023-001Another deputy stopped the vehicle, which Woodberry was driving. She smelled of booze. When asked for her registration, Woodberry handed over the vehicle title four times.The case against Devin Woodberry, 34, began around 2:40 a.m. Oct. 5 on Okeechobee Road in Fort Pierce when a vehicle nearly struck a St. Lucie County Sheriff’s deputy while the deputy was on a traffic stop.

A deputy spotted a prescription bottle of the painkiller hydrocodone in Woodberry’s purse. She said she took the medication three days earlier, later saying she used it on that day “a million hours ago.”

“A million hours” is about 41,666 days, which is about 114 years, which would mean Woodberry used the hydrocodone in about 1900, which is about 79 years before she was born.

Meanwhile, Woodberry said she drank two Bahama momma wine coolers.

Woodberry agreed to perform field sobriety exercises, one of which is known as the “one-legged stand.”

She was able to maintain the position for about 15 seconds, “and boasted the task was easy, self proclaiming, ‘I’m a stripper,’” the affidavit states.

Some might find validity in Woodberry’s apparent logic that strippers — scantily clad or nude women who perform erotic dances involving bending and contorting — should be able to do the one-legged stand with ease.

But according to the affidavit, Woodberry didn’t keep one of her legs straight. She also used her arms for balance.

Investigators found two empty liquor bottles under the passenger seat of Woodberry’s vehicle.

Woodberry, of Palm Bay, was arrested on a DUI charge, and taken to the St. Lucie County jail.

Breath tests measured Woodberry’s blood alcohol content at 0.194 and 0.193 — more than twice the legal limit of 0.08.


Voor money? Woman staged ‘sit-down’ in Target

Filed under: Bizzarre,Controversy,Disrespectful,Dumb,Fraud,Really Dumb,WTF? — floridaduh @ 2:15 pm

A Lake Worth woman tried to file a claim against Target after taking a tumble. But after investigators watched her intentionally take a seat on the floor through surveillance video, she landed in jail, authorities said.

sfl-woman-staged-fall-target-20141026-001Margaret Dagniewska, 38, told a Target representative that she slipped on a “watery substance” and injured her neck, back, legs and shin at the store at 650 N. Congress Ave., according to a report from the Florida Department of Financial Services’ Fraud Division.

The supposed fall, which happened Oct. 22, 2013, led to Dagniewska’s arrest this week, records show.

An investigator representing Target who watched the surveillance video said, “It was apparent [Dagniewska] simply sat down.”

The day of the incident, a Target employee said she overheard Dagniewska speaking in Dutch on the phone, telling her mother that she sat down, the report said. What Dagniewska perhaps didn’t know is the employee also knew Dutch, the report said.

Paramedics responding to the store declined to take her to the hospital and made her take a private ambulance, causing Dagniewska to leave Target with her mother moments later, the employee told investigators.

An employee who checked the floor where the alleged fall happened said the floor wasn’t wet.

Dagniewska faces the charge of insurance fraud in the Target incident. She was held in Palm Beach County Jail in lieu of $6,000 bail.

Authorities said it wasn’t the first time Dagniewska has dealt with fraud allegations.
She also is accused of defrauding the state after not reporting $13,829.65 earned from a job she didn’t report while on welfare, records show. She faces the charge of public aid fraud in that recent case, which also is pending.


Out for blood? Woman deliberately drove car into plasma-donation center

Filed under: Bizzarre,WTF?,Controversy,Unusual,Amazing,Stupid,OK Then ..... — floridaduh @ 2:13 pm

A busy Westside plasma-donation clinic was rocked Saturday afternoon after a woman intentionally drove her car through the entrance following a dispute with employees, creating a chaotic scene and sending herself and eight others to local hospitals for non-life-threatening injuries, police said.

sfl-flduh-plasma-donation-20141026-001The dispute between Pamela Miller, 35, and DCI Biologicals employees may have been over why she couldn’t donate plasma, according to police and witness accounts.

Miller will be charged with aggravated battery, police said.
DCI Biologicals is in a large strip shopping center, home to a thrift store, Dollar Tree and several other businesses, just south of Wilson Boulevard. A Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office substation is also in the shopping center, and police were able to respond to the hectic scene quickly.

Moments before Miller drove her car into the clinic, Jamal Ford had just walked out of the building after donating plasma. He said Miller approached the clinic in her red Honda Accord, stopped in front for a moment and then appeared to step on the accelerator, sending the car careening into the building.

“There was screaming, hollering. Everybody is in a state of shock,” Ford said. “I was absolutely terrified.”

Miller’s car plowed about 40 feet into the building, police said. She reversed and hit a concrete pillar underneath the store’s awning.

It’s unclear how fast Miller was going when she drove through the entrance. Evidence technicians are trying to determine her speed, police said.

Half of Miller’s remained under a covered walkway as onlookers – some who were hoping to donate plasma – passed by. The damage inside the clinic was extensive: part of the roof had collapsed, as had counters.

“It was definitely a chaotic scene,” said Sheriff’s Lt. Derrick Mitchell, who was in the substation and among the first to respond.

Investigators are looking into whether drugs played a role in the incident.

Police are also questioning a man who identified himself as Miller’s boyfriend.


OMG! …. Officials want South Florida to break off into its own state October 23, 2014

Filed under: Amazing,Bizzarre,Controversy,Dumb,Funny,OK Then .....,Silly,Unusual,WTF? — floridaduh @ 1:07 pm

Officials in the City of South Miami have passed a resolution in favor of splitting the state in half so South Florida would become the 51st state.

os-officials-propose-20141021-001Vice Mayor Walter Harris proposed the resolution and it passed with a 3-2 vote at the city commission meeting on Oct. 7.

Harris told the commission that Tallahassee isn’t providing South Florida with proper representation or addressing its concerns when it comes to sea-level rising.

“We have to be able to deal directly with this environmental concern and we can’t really get it done in Tallahassee,” Harris said. “I don’t care what people think — it’s not a matter of electing the right people.”

Mayor Philip Stoddard agreed with Harris’ reasoning, saying during the meeting that he’s advocated for secession for the past 15 years but never penned a resolution.

“It’s very apparent that the attitude of the northern part of the state is that they would just love to saw the state in half and just let us float off into the Caribbean,” Stoddard said. “They’ve made that abundantly clear every possible opportunity and I would love to give them the opportunity to do that.”

But the vote wasn’t unanimous. Commissioners Gabriel Edmond and Josh Liebman voted against the resolution with Edmond, a history teacher, being the most vocal about it.

“I just want you guys to be careful because if you vote for this you’re setting a precedent that if other people in this city don’t like our representation or feel we’re not responsive to them they might say ‘we want to break away from the city of South Miami’.”

The resolution lists the northern border of what would be the state of South Florida as being Brevard, Orange, Polk, Hillsborough and Pinellas counties.

Orange County is particularly important because that’s where the South Florida Water Management District begins, Harris said. It was even suggested that a Central Florida city could possibly be the state of South Florida’s capitol.

In total, the proposed 51st state would include 24 counties.

The resolution’s 3-2 approval paved the way for it to be sent to the governing bodies of the proposed South Florida counties for consideration. In order for secession to be enacted, however, the measure would require electorate approval from the entire state and Congressional approval.

Click here to read a copy of the resolution.


“Don’t bring a machete to a pork chop fight”

Filed under: Bad Temper,Bizzarre,Controversy,Dangerous Nut,Dumb,Fight,Florida Nut,WTF? — floridaduh @ 1:00 pm

An argument over pork chops turned violent and bloody between relatives Monday night.

635495145535312385-porkFellsmere police arrested Billy Wall for stabbing his nephew with a butcher knife two times in the abdomen. The two were apparently arguing over how many pork chops each person would get to eat.

Officers responded to the victim’s house on Lincoln Street just before eight o’clock. The victim, Charles Williams, came stumbling out the front door as police arrived. Wall was tracked down and arrested at his neighbor’s house a block away.

That neighbor, Carolyn Bibbs, told WPBF 25 News reporter John Dzenitis that Wall came to her door covered in blood and asking for a change of clothes.

“He was drenched with blood because I seen it all down his leg,” Bibbs said. ”I ain’t givin’ him no clothes to put on.”

Police said Wall claimed self-defense as he was being put in handcuffs.

“He kept saying ‘I stabbed him’,” Bibbs said. “He say, ‘He try to get a machete at me and cut me with a machete and I stabbed him.”

Wall was arrested on aggravated battery charges. The Indian River County Sheriff’s Office processed the scene and officers recovered the machete. The knife has yet to be recovered.

Family members told WPBF 25 News that Williams had to undergo emergency surgery because of liver damage. Thankfully, the blade barely missed an artery and Williams is expected to survive, according to his family.


Woman Sets Boyfriend on Fire

Filed under: Abuse,Bad Temper,Bizzarre,Controversy,Dangerous Nut,Dispute,Dumb,Fire,Scary,WTF? — floridaduh @ 12:56 pm

An argument turned vicious in Florida when an incensed woman poured fingernail polish remover over her roommate then ignited it.

meatballs23n-2-webThe fight, according to a witness, erupted after Carlos Ortiz Jr., 42, threw out Melissa Dawn Sellers’ spaghetti and meatballs, according to Clearwater police.

“She was setting little objects on fire, then that turned into pouring nail polish remover all over him, and then all of a sudden, the lighter sparked and he lit on fire,” said Ines Causevic, a friend of the victim, Bay News 9 reported.

Sellers had been staying with Ortiz after losing her job at Wal-Mart.

Causevic said she doused her friend with water and pulled off his shirt, which was on fire.

He is hospitalized in critical condition with burns to his face and torso, the station said.

“When he got up, his face was like melting off,” Causevic said. “His lips were burning.”

Sellers, 33, was charged with aggravated battery.

She has a prior conviction from 2008 for battery.



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