floridaduh

The Bizarre World of Florida

When questioned after his arrest for rape of 10-year-old, man explains, “I’m not the normal guy that everyone thinks I am” April 23, 2014

Michael-HelmickA Marion County man has been arrested on capital sexual battery charges after deputies say he sexually assaulted a 10-year-old and said during his interview that he has an addiction that needs mental help.

Michael Helmick, 38, was charged by Marion County Sheriff’s Office on Monday with two counts of sexual battery after two inappropriate contact incidents with the 10-year-old victim.

While Helmick was being interviewed by deputies, he said, “I’m not the normal guy that everyone thinks I am,” according to the report, and said he has been accused and/or arrested five separate times on sexual based offenses.

During those accusations, Helmick said he has asked for mental help for several years and has not received it, deputies said.

Helmick also said that he has an addiction to adult pornography and dates females “much younger” than he is, according to the report.

Helmick was taken to Marion County Jail.

 

“We believe that this road sign reading ‘WARNING: ZOMBIES AHEAD’ is a joke. But we haven’t been brave enough to drive beyond the sign”

Filed under: Bizzarre,Dumb,Funny,Interesting,Really Dumb,Silly,Stupid,Unusual,WTF? — floridaduh @ 7:11 pm

soflanews-zombies-attach-fort-lauder-20140422Commuters driving south on A1A in Fort Lauderdale on Tuesday morning were treated to an amusing warning: a different kind of traffic hazard awaited down the road in the form of shambling undead with a hunger for brains.

Presumably, they kept their windows closed.

The electronic message sign just north of Sunrise Boulevard typically updates drivers on when the Las Olas Bridge would be closed for repair work. But some hoaxster apparently busted into the sign’s control box and altered its message. City and state transportation officials were mystified, but quickly set things right.

And there were no reports of the walking dead.

 

Woman who says she’s not going to jail goes to jail

jailA 20-year-old woman seen arguing with her father April 13 was arrested and charged with resisting without violence after refusing to follow police officers’ orders, according to a Crestview Police Department arrest report.

Responding to an emergency call from a man on Riverwood Drive, police found the woman yelling and threatening her father. She became increasingly combative, punching her hands into the nearby railing, the report said.

Officers told her calm down and walk away but she refused, continuing to get in her father’s face. Officers told her she was under arrest and attempted to handcuff her, but she snatched her arm away and rushed to her car, saying, “I am not going to jail!” the report said.

Police officers took her to the Okaloosa County Jail where she continued to yell and curse while in custody.

 

Man broke into house to snooze

A man who broke into a house to sleep is facing criminal charges.

sfl-flduh-house-snooze-20140422-001Jeffery Dale Bolduc, 41, was arrested after a neighbor saw window screens on the ground and called law enforcement, according to his Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report.

When the deputy arrived, she found the man inside the home along with a broken window and a cinderblock.

Bolduc said he didn’t break the window, but said he did touch the cinderblock and the screens.

It was later determined he knew the home was unoccupied, the report stated.

He was charged with criminal mischief and burglary of an unoccupied dwelling.

 

Pantless man bummed ride on ambulance

Filed under: Bizzarre,Drugs,Dumb,Florida Nut,OK Then .....,Really Dumb,Stupid,WTF? — floridaduh @ 7:01 pm

sfl-flduh-pantless-ambulance-20140422-001A man accused of hitching a ride on the back of an ambulance was arrested after being found without pants, according to a recently released report.

When Indian River County Sheriff’s deputies discovered Timothy Torfonz Baker Jr., 20, he said he’d had booze, marijuana and “possibly” crack cocaine.

The case began about 4:15 a.m. April 6 when deputies went to an address on U.S. 1 for a disturbance.

An ambulance crew taking a patient to a hospital reported a man, later identified as Baker, “jumped aboard the rear railing to their vehicle and was riding the back of the ambulance,” a report states.

Those needing transportation often take a taxi, bus, train, shuttle or subway, though the latter is unavailable on the Treasure Coast.

Ambulances typically ferry people to medical facilities. A lesser known use of an ambulance is as a cross-country racing vehicle, which is what Burt Reynolds’ character, J.J. McClure, did in the 1981 movie “The Cannonball Run,” which also stars Dom DeLuise.

Meanwhile, the ambulance stopped, and Baker hopped off and ran in front of it, blocking its path.

He was found “pant less,” sweating and smelling of alcohol. Baker said he was in Stuart, despite being two counties to the north in Vero Beach.

He also told the Indian River County Sheriff’s deputy that the deputy was a Riviera Beach Police officer.

“He further stated he was involved in an altercation to which he was unable to provide any specifics for,” the report states. “This rambling continued for several minutes with Baker Jr. making blanket accusations out loud.”

Baker was arrested on a disorderly intoxication charge and taken to jail where a bag of pot turned up in his sock.

Baker, of Riviera Beach, was arrested on additional charges of introduction of contraband into a detention facility and possession of less than 20 grams of marijuana.

 

Woman, 64, foils flashing purse snatcher

sfl-flduh-pursesnatching-flasher-20140422-001An unemployed Tamarac man with a history of criminal offenses found the pickings weren’t so easy Sunday afternoon when he tried to steal the purse of a 64-year-old woman.

So, frustrated, he exposed himself and resorted to obscenity.

According to police, Michael Gallo, 25, grabbed the unidentified woman’s purse as she got out of her car in the 5400 block of West Atlantic Boulevard in Margate.

The woman refused to let go. She even punched Gallo.

Gallo then vented his anger at being thwarted by loosening a sweatshirt he had around his waist to expose his genitals. He followed that by holding up two middle fingers and uttering an obscenity to the woman before fleeing eastward.

Margate police caught Gallo about three blocks from the scene. The woman identified him as her assailant. He was charged with attempted robbery by sudden snatching and lewd and lascivious exhibition.

In a separate arrest warrant, Gallo was charged with soliciting in public.

During a first-appearance court hearing Monday, County Judge John “Jay” Hurley set bond for Gallo — a Colombian native who said he hasn’t worked in “four or five years” — at $15,200.

According to court officers, Gallo has a record of past arrests that includes grand theft, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, loitering and prowling and trespassing.

Hurley told Gallo that if he posts bond and is released from jail, he has to stay at least 500 feet away from the alleged victim in the case.

“You have violence, you have stealing in the past, loitering and prowling, criminal mischief — so you do have a history of these type of things,” Hurley said.

 

Police arrest two parents who beat up a bus driver because he didn’t let their kids off fast enough April 22, 2014

Two of the three suspects accused of attacking a West Palm Beach elementary school bus driver when he didn’t let children off fast enough were arrested Saturday, according to a Palm Beach County School District Police arrest report.

The driver, Joseph Beauzile, 40, of Boca Raton, told police he was approaching a stop on April 14 when the children from Westwood Elementary tried to rush off the bus. Since he wanted them in a single file, he stopped them, closed the door, and made them get in line.

fl-west-palm-bus-beating-20140421-001The delay was apparently too much for Shacaurra Burns, 25, of West Palm Beach. Beauzile said Burns forced her way onto the bus and pulled the emergency brake release, according to the report.

A student told police Beauzile closed the door and tried to lock Burns in as he called police, the report said.

But with Burns on the bus, a man later identified as Ryan Beckford, 33, of West Palm Beach, ripped the door open and started punching Beauzile, according to the report.

Another rider told police Burns got on the bus because she was in a rush while another told police one of the men, who remains at large, grabbed the bus keys and threw them outside.

fl-west-palm-bus-beating-20140421-002The investigator talked with a guidance counselor who helped identify the woman as Burns.

The police investigator watched surveillance video of the beating and said children on the bus began crying with “terrified looks on their faces” as one of the men held the driver down while the other repeatedly punched him.

The attack caused one student to jump out of a bus window, according to the report.

The investigator said he could hear Beauzile yelling at one of the suspects to give him back his keys in the video.

Police later showed Beauzile a photo lineup where he identified Beckford as one of his attackers.

Days after the attack, Beauzile told Sun Sentinel news partner CBS12 that he was still in pain.

He said the attackers hit him in his ribs, head and other places and said the attack has left him shaken.

“That’s why I think the school district has to do something about that because it’s not only me, it’s about the school, security of my kids, and my security,” he said.

Burns faces trespassing, battery and child abuse charges and is held in Palm Beach County Jail in lieu of $6,000 bail. Beckford is held on the same charges in lieu of $14,000 bail.

 

Couple used tree in public park for target practice

sfl-flduh-tree-park-target-20140421-001
A man and a woman have been charged with getting drunk and shooting at a tree at G.T. Bray Park in Bradenton, according to police.

About 11:10 p.m. Sunday, officers responded to reports of gunfire at the park, 5502 33rd Ave. Drive W.

As they arrived, officers stopped a car as it was leaving the park.

Inside, they found that the driver, identified as Ian Tucker, 29, was drunk and openly carrying a gun, according to a report.

“He explained that he and his female passenger had been shooting at a tree within the park,” the report states.

Tucker and the woman, Rachelle Lacasse, 29, were each charged with openly carrying a weapon, discharging a firearm in public or on residential property and improper exhibition of a weapon.

They were released from the Manatee County jail after posting bonds totaling $1,120 each.

 

 

Jailed man exposed himself to officer, wanted sex act

A South Florida man is accused of being a nuisance and then making some pretty serious threats to the arresting officer.

sfl-flduh-exposed-himself-sex-act-20140421-002Charles Bolen, 53, of Pompano Beach, was arrested Friday in Palm Beach Gardens.

He’s accused of yelling at customers in front of a Walgreen’s store on Northlake Boulevard, and threatening to hurt them.

Bolen then took his act down the street to Pep Boys, where he “demanded money for beer,” according to his arrest report.

Once he was convinced to leave the store, he told officers to “wait until I get across the street and you will see what I am going to do,” the report said.

That’s when the officer started to arrest him, prompting Bolen to say “you are not taking me to jail.”

As he was being taken to jail, Bolen told the officer he was going to “****” the officer’s “wife in the ***,” according to the report.

And the final insult came when Bolen was in his holding cell, when he “unzipped his pants” and told the officer to perform a sex act on him, the report said.

Bolen is charged with disorderly conduct and exposure of sexual organs.

 

Easter services at SeaWorld feature scripture about Jesus Christ, Shamu, and Tim Tebow April 21, 2014

Filed under: Beautiful,Bizzarre,Unusual,Weird,WTF? — floridaduh @ 1:51 pm

On any other Sunday, the Niebrugge family would be in the pews for the morning service at Metro Church in Winter Springs.

seaworldtebows1-jpg-20140420But this being Easter Sunday, they got up at 4 a.m. and drove through the darkness and the drizzle to find their seats, along with 7,000 others, in SeaWorld Orlando’s Bayside Stadium. They had been here before, as season pass holders, but never to participate in the ritual of witnessing the sun rise in remembrance of Christ’s resurrection.

It was misty so Tammy Niebrugge, her 12-year-old daughter Hope, and six-year-old son Bryce wore plastic rain ponchos with Mickey Mouse on the back — which on any other day would be blasphemy inside SeaWorld.

“We should be nice to each other, especially today,” said Ken Niebrugge, the father.

His other son, 8-year-old Brendan, was wearing the No. 15 jersey of Tim Tebow with the secret hope that the legendary Florida Gator quarterback might make a surprise appearance with his parents, Bob and Pam Tebow, as the scheduled speakers for the service.

This was unlikely, his parents cautioned him, but just in case Ken carried a Tim Tebow football card inside a plastic baggie in the right front pocket of his shirt.

So on this Easter Sunday, in an amusement park stadium celebrating a Christian holiday with the parents of a celebrity athlete, the holy trinity of American culture came together: religion, sports and entertainment.

Jesus, Tebow and Shamu.

In her message to the Easter Sunday worshippers, Pam Tebow recounted the miraculous birth of her son against all medical odds: “As Timmy entered the world, the doctor said, ‘This is a miracle baby.’ “

She spoke of the lesson of love, courage and humility contained in the story of Christ’s death and resurrection: “You have to love the people in your life just as God loves us, just as Christ loves us and gave his life.”

Bob Tebow preached on how God sacrificed Christ by pinning all the sins of the world onto his only son: “God took every sin that you and I have ever done or will ever do and he nailed them to the cross.”

After his remarks, Timmy’s father said they would be handing out comic book gospel tracts written for kids — “so if there are any Florida State fans here you can read it, too.”

SeaWorld has held free Easter sunrise services for 37 years. This year’s event year was hosted by Christian radio station Z88.3 FM.

For Tammy Niebrugge, the sunrise service was perfect for her family because the kids are getting old enough now to know Easter is about more than hunting for eggs. This Easter, the family incorporated “Resurrection Eggs” into the holiday, each plastic egg containing a symbol of Christ’s crucifixion: a cross, a nail, a thorn, and a Scripture verse to go along with them.

“For my family, I think it’s just great that it’s the first Easter Sunday that they are all old enough to really understand the true meaning of Easter,” said Tammy, 40, a preschool teacher.

For Ken Niebrugge, a 48-year-old chiropractor, the Easter story reinforced the idea for his children of God as a father: “We want them to know there is a heavenly father who loves them and they can talk to him at any time and he can do things for them that mom and dad can’t.”

For Hope, the message of the day was spelled out in her name. For Brendan, it was a little disappointing that Tim Tebow never materialized. For Bryce, there was light instead of darkness when he awoke after falling asleep on his father’s lap.

Before returning to Longwood, Ken Niebrugge said the family was going to linger a little at SeaWorld with their renewed sense of what it means to be Christian. And to visit Shamu.

 

 
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