Worst butt dial …… EVER May 24, 2013

Tip: If you’re plotting to kill somebody, try not to “pocket dial” 911 and have your plans recorded.

That’s exactly what Scott Simon did after getting into a fight with another man at a Waffle House in the early hours of May 5, the Broward Sheriff’s Office said Wednesday.

On a recorded line, Simon can be heard telling someone else that he’s going to follow the victim home and kill him. Minutes later, 33-year-old Nicholas Walker was shot and killed while driving his car onto Interstate 95 in Oakland Park.

“This is a first for me,” said BSO spokeswoman Dani Moschella. “Criminals say crazy things all the time, but I’ve never seen anyone call a recorded line.”

Homicide detectives arrested Simon, 24, of Pompano Beach Tuesday night. He is charged with first-degree murder. Moschella said while detectives do not believe Simon was the triggerman, he did coordinate the shooting.

When deputies arrived at the shooting scene shortly after 6:40 a.m. May 5, they found Walker’s silver Buick crashed into a guard rail. Deputies and Oakland Park Fire-Rescue put out a fire in the engine compartment, but Walker had already died of gunshot wounds.

The investigation prompted a three-hour closure of all southbound lanes of I-95.

Detectives are now seeking two other suspects: the person who pulled the trigger, and another man, who was seen in the 2012 black Buick GS with him the morning of the shooting.

BSO has released two surveillance tapes, one showing the men arguing outside the Waffle House with several witnesses watching, and another of the black Buick and a silver car leaving the restaurant.

Anyone with information is asked to call Det. Bryan Tutler at 954-321-4281. Anonymous tips can be reported to Crime Stoppers of Broward County at 954-493-8477 or online at http://www.browardcrimestoppers.org. Crime Stoppers will pay up to $1,000 for information that leads to an arrest.

The errant 911 call, BSO said, will not be released.

Scott remains in Broward’s main jail with no bond.

As for the call, Moschella said Simon’s apparent butt-dial helped police.

“He had no idea he called 911,” Moschella said. “He basically told on himself.”

620-pound bear, largest captured in Florida, is relocated …. Thank God!

PAISLEY, Florida (AP) — The largest Florida black bear ever captured has been relocated.

Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission spokeswoman Joy Hill says the 620-pound bear was captured Monday. It had been getting into trash in the Ocala National Forest, even into secured garbage in a shed by pulling the aluminum siding off to get his free meal.

The bear was trapped in Lake County.

Before the bear was relocated on Wednesday, biologists were able to sedate him to collect hair samples and give him an exam, identification tattoo and ear tag.

Hill says this is the largest bear captured, but the largest documented black bear was a 624-pounder that was struck and killed by a car in Naples several years ago.

Wildlife officials estimate there are 3,500 black bears in Florida.

School nurse showed up for work ……. drunk

PUNTA GORDA, FL – The scene played out at a school parking lot early Tuesday morning.

Punta Gorda Police say Noreen Freeman was driving to work drunk.

“I’m a little shocked because they usually do thorough background checks,” says Jason Thomsen, a parent with a child at The Baker Center.

Freeman is a community health advocate who works as the school nurse at The Baker Center, a pre-k school in Punta Gorda.

Police say she was slurring her words, struggling to stand up and blew three times the legal limit. They arrested her for driving under the influence.

“To show up at school and expect to do your job under the influence of alcohol is not acceptable in our district,” explains Charlotte County Public Schools Community Liaison Mike Riley.

District leaders and parents were surprised to hear about the arrest.

“It’s terrible that people let things like that take over their lives,” Thomsen points out.

He says one employee’s actions shouldn’t reflect poorly on the quality of the school.

While some parents want Freeman fired immediately, Thomsen isn’t jumping to conclusions.

“I wouldn’t expect them to fire her right away. Everyone has a chance to see if they are guilty or not,” he said.

The district will conduct an internal investigation to determine what to do next.

Meanwhile, Freeman isn’t suspended. She took the rest of the week off. The school year ends Friday. The district is offering her substance abuse help if she wants it.

We found her car parked outside of her apartment, but she didn’t answer the door.

According to police reports, Freeman admitted to drinking the night before. She also told officers she is on medication.

She’s been an employee at the Charlotte County school district since January of 2008.

Woman accused of etching image of male genitalia on stranger’s SUV at Publix, left note May 23, 2013

WESLEY CHAPEL — At noon in the Publix parking lot, a woman took to a silver Kia with a key and a vendetta. She dug the key into the passenger-side paint so hard it exposed the bare metal underneath. On the hood, she etched a crude sketch of male genitalia.

Then the woman walked into the supermarket at 1920 Bruce B. Downs Blvd. and went to the customer service desk, where a clerk handed her a Post-it note.

Security camera footage shows the woman scribbling something on the note, then walking back out to the parking lot.

The woman affixed the note to the SUV’s windshield, where the owner was sure to notice:

“Hey I keyed your car,” it read. “You didn’t stop for pedestrians as is law. Since no cop to enforce a ticket, this should cover the cost of your fine. Have a good day. P.S. Don’t be a d—.”

The owner of the car, Debra Streets, 63, found the note and the damage soon after it happened on April 17. She went into the Publix and called 911. The damage to the SUV: $1,240.13.

After reviewing the surveillance footage, Pasco sheriff’s deputies determined the culprit was 23-year-old Natasha Myers, who was arrested this week.

Streets told deputies she didn’t have any confrontations with any pedestrians that day as she pulled into the parking lot off State Road 56 and Bruce B. Downs Boulevard. She said she came into the parking lot from the back of the store complex where people don’t usually walk.

Investigators took surveillance footage from the store and identified the vandal as Myers, though the process of doing so was unclear, said sheriff’s spokeswoman Melanie Snow.

Deputies went to Myers’ Wesley Chapel home, and she told them she was the one who keyed the car, the report states.

Myers, whose occupation was listed as a student, was arrested Tuesday on a charge of criminal mischief. She remained in the Land O’Lakes jail Wednesday in lieu of $5,000 bail.

Giant tiger needs surgery. Fark: To remove giant hairball May 22, 2013

Clearwater, Florida — It’s a typical story of a cat with a hairball… only the cat weighs about 400 pounds, and what appears to be a giant hairball is too large to be removed without surgery.

Thai the tiger is scheduled to undergo the procedure on Wednesday afternoon at BluePearl Veterinary Partners emergency hospital in Clearwater.

PHOTOS: Tiger needs surgery to remove hairball

The hospital says Vernon Yates with Wildlife Rescue and Rehabilitation Inc. brought the 17-year-old male jungle cat in to see a specialist on Monday, after the tiger had not eaten for nearly two weeks. Dr. Brian Luria performed an ultrasound and took X-rays before using a scope with a camera to determine the problem, which appears to be a giant hairball.

The hairball was too large to be removed using the scope, so Thai was scheduled for surgery.

Woman jailed after allegedly shooting man on dialysis table

A woman has been charged with a shooting Monday morning that wounded a patient at an Orlando dialysis center, according to police.

Shemira R. Hargrove was charged with attempted murder (domestic violence) for the 9:30 a.m. shooting at the Florida Dialysis Center of Orlando on 34th Street, according to police spokesman Diego Toruno.

The victim has not been identified or the nature of his relationship with Hargrove. Details about the shooting also have not be released.

Hargrove, 32, who had been questioned at police headquarters since the shooting, will be taken to the Orange County Jail to be booked.

In December 2000, Hargrove was charged with shooting or throwing a missile into a dwelling or vehicle and criminal mischief. The charges were dismissed.

On Monday, the victim was taken to a local hospital and was described as alert when he left the dialysis center, Toruno said.

Man accused of exposing himself to cop at park

A 60-year-old man was arrested Monday and charged with exposure of sexual organs and loitering in a public bathroom after officials said he exposed himself to an under­cover officer inside a bathroom at a park.

Around 1:30 p.m. at Scott Springs Park at 2300 SW 24th Ave., the officer saw a man opening and closing the bathroom door several times while he was looking in the officer’s direction, according to reports.

The officer approached the door, and found it locked. He knocked on the door and the man, later identified as Robert Purdon, opened the door while rubbing his genitals. The officer said Purdon then pulled up his right shorts leg, exposing his genitals, according to reports.

Purdon was arrested and taken to the Marion County Jail.

The police department has received numerous complaints about blatant sexual activity and other illegal occurrences at the park. Early last year, Ocala Mayor Kent Guinn, who oversees the police department, started a crackdown at the public venue. From April 1, 2012, to the present, officers have arrested 18 men there for exposure of sexual organs and one for prostitution.

“We are dedicated in preserv­ing our parks for families and children without having to expose them to this kind of behavior,” said Sgt. Eric Hooper of the Special Deployment and Bicycle Units.

Purdon was released from the jail at 7:27 p.m. Monday. He said Tuesday he inadvertently exposed himself and it wasn’t intentional. He said it was a hot day and he did not have on any underwear.

“It’s his word against mine,” Purdon said of the arresting officer. “I went into the bath­room to wash my hands. I knew better not to do something like that.”

Purdon said he saw two other men expose themselves at the park, the report noted.

USSS girl’s softball coach jailed after headbutting umpire

Coach arrested for battery on a sports official.

• Sunday
• May 19, 2013
• Time: 3:54 PM

• FishHawk Sports Complex
• 16210 FishHawk Boulevard
• Lithia, Florida

Suspect:

Gordon Elliott Moore DOB 08/26/1975 4324 Melbrooke Ct. Lakeland, FL

Charge:

• Battery on a Specified Official or Employee

Victim:

Stephen H. Connell DOB 01/21/1957 4235 Tennyson Way Venice, FL

Details:

On May 19, 2013 at 3:54 p.m., Stephen H. Connell, who is an umpire for USSSA, was umpiring a softball game in which the defendant, Gordon E. Moore, was the coach for Christina Girls Minor Division, 12 and under team.
After the last out of the game, Gordon Moore got into a verbal argument with the home plate umpire, Kimberly Anderson. The victim, Stephen Connell, who was working the shortstop position, noticed Moore gesturing his arms and talking loudly got between Moore and Ms. Anderson.
During the verbal confrontation, Moore bumped Connell in the chest and then headbutted him on his nose. Moore then tried to headbutt Connell a second time, but Connell moved and struck Moore once in the face with a closed fist. Moore was arrested a short time later without incident.

Florida Teacher Suspended for Touching Student with ‘Banana Penis’ May 21, 2013

A former Teacher of the Year at North Marion High School in Marion County, Florida, was suspended without pay after a student complained that he touched her inappropriately with a banana during a college-level lecture on “cylinder objects, phalluses and/or sex symbols.”

The incident took place three months ago, but the student only came forward last week.

A discipline letter sent to Jonathan Hampton claims the teacher “crossed a line” while discussing the “Freudian implications” of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

The student alleges that Hampton “rubbed [her] head and neck area with a banana,” leaving her embarrassed and humiliated.

“That is disgusting, very disgusting,” said the grandmother of a student at the school. “I don’t think he should be allowed to teach kids. You don’t do stuff like that and get away with it.”

Hampton’s lawyer (and stepfather) Mark Fiedelholtz says the entire thing was blown out of proportion, and that Hampton tapped a student with a banana from his lunch to get her attention, and that sometimes a banana is just a banana.

“There was nothing else to it,” the attorney said.

After conducting its own investigation into the matter, the school district issued Hampton an official reprimand saying it was poor judgement on his part to use “a banana to make physical contact with a student.”

The teacher has since completed the three-day suspension and was allowed to return to class.

This dude give new meaning to the proverbial beer run

Stopping to steal beer while running away from cops may sound silly, but this is South Florida.

The illegal beer run occurred early Sunday morning after a burglary suspect was allegedly caught in the middle of looting a Lighthouse Point home and trashing it with mustard and illegible scribblings, police said.

The police chase ended with Andrew Fatzinger, 21, of Port St. Lucie, taken to a hospital after tussling with a police K-9, authorities said.

The bizarre string of incidents began about 2 a.m. Sunday when a neighbor called police to report seeing a man climbing up to the second floor of a townhouse in the 1900 block of Northeast 32nd Street. The neighbor said he could hear things breaking and items being slammed to the floor, according to a Lighthouse Police arrest report.

The residents of the townhouse were out of town, police said.